November
by Poetic-Introvert
Summary: No one was ever quite sure just how cold of a month November was for Bonnie Bennett; except him. All Human. Complete. Cover by writerinlaymansterms.
1. Chapter One

**DISCLAIMER FOR THE STORY IN ITS ENTIRETY: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.**

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Bonnie Bennett tried to hide the drooping of her eyelids as she patiently waited for the last customer of the evening to finish their meal and leave. Although the weather worn sign was becoming a bit of an eyesore, Bonnie was sure the closing times of _Josette's_ hadn't changed in the past thirty years.

The shabby little diner had been purchased by the father of Josette Laughlin in the seventies right after he and his wife were told they were expecting their first girl after twelve years and five births of boys. The diner was ceremoniously named after their one and only girl.

"Hey, Bonnie. Why don't you go on and head out? I've got it covered here."

Bonnie's eyes shot up, and she quickly focused her attention onto her employer.

"No, no. I'm fine, Jo. I was just resting my eyes."

"Well, resting your eyes looks a lot like you're falling asleep to me. Go home, Bonnie. I close up four other nights without you. I'll be fine tonight." Jo winked at Bonnie and gave her a carefree grin as she pushed her toward the door.

As soon as she was in the comfort of her old Pontiac, Bonnie let out a heavy breath. She loved Jo, and she loved the diner, but it just wasn't getting a lot of business these days, and for her, less business meant less tips. Bonnie would never dream of asking Jo for a raise; no matter how much she needed one. Tips were her crutch, and at the moment, she was free falling.

Bonnie drove the fifteen minutes home in silence; not even bothering to turn on the radio. All songs that were playing these days were either too happy, too repetitive, or both. Repetitiveness was all Bonnie's life was. She was sick of it. She was always Bonnie the Waitress scrounging for tips, or Bonnie the Retail Associate scrounging for respect. She was never just Bonnie Bennett.

Of course, whomever Bonnie Bennett was had died four years ago.

That Bonnie had climbed into the casket belonging to Abby Bennett, and had been buried there with her on that cold fall day. Her soul had left her body the second the doctor had uttered word of her mother's demise on that dark day in November.

Bonnie put her car into park and just sat in the drive way of the three bedroom house she was currently renting with the two women she had met while working.

Elena Gilbert and Caroline Forbes had come into Bonnie's store in search of the perfect shades of toe nail polish, and Bonnie had been the one to point them in the right direction. She was then eagerly asked to give her honest opinion on which ones went well with the girls' skin tones. Almost seven hours later, and on the other side of town, the same two girls showed up to Josette's on two very different missions. Elena had made it her goal in life to find an eatery that sold the best salads, and Caroline had done the same, except that her goal involved cheeseburgers. After several days of coincidental encounters, the girls finally invited Bonnie over for a Girls Night In, where they proposed that she be their third room mate. Bonnie accepted the offer without a second thought. She was sick of being sheltered at her Grams' house. She was sick of all the little reminders of her past still playing in her head and heart like it was yesterday.

Bonnie stared out of the windshield of her car as she let the tears slide down her cheeks. Her hands gripped the steering wheel much like they had done every evening for the past four months. But this evening was different. Her hands loosened around the steering wheel as she felt a sob rack through her chest. Without warning, she brutally hit her hands against the steering wheel over and over again until she was sure her knuckles were a bleeding mess.

Why hadn't she just killed herself off in a car accident on the way home? She had all ready gotten into the habit of driving dangerously over the speed limit. A small twist of her steering wheel would've been just enough. . .

But she was scared. She had no idea what her future held because, in all honesty, she hadn't planned one. Her world just became a big valley of darkness on that November day. Sure, six months ago she had graduated torturous high school with honors and a few other chords that she wore around her neck, but what was there for her after that?

Faking a smile through high school had been easy. She had hoped sucking it up and graduating would've given her the strength she needed to move on in her life.

It hadn't.

As Bonnie finally took a deep breath and exited her car, she realized that every day, she was sucked more and more into that dark valley of her mind. It had become harder and harder for her to even want to crawl out of bed in the morning. Working two jobs only added to the toll that Bonnie's mind was taking. She had discovered several weeks ago that she wanted to get an English Literature degree, but she also discovered that one more thing on her plate would topple her over.

Face freshly clear of all remnants of tears, Bonnie slipped her key into the lock and opened the door.

..

Caroline Forbes and Elena Gilbert had always been the best of friends, so it was natural when Elena mentioned to Caroline one day that she and her should share a place together, and although they both assumed this would occur in their hometown of Atlanta, Georgia, fate apparently had other plans.

Having just received her Master's Degree, Elena decided to take an impromptu getaway trip with Caroline to visit her eccentric grandfather in Mystic Falls. After complaining of boredom on the fifth day of a fourteen day visit, Elena's grandfather had suggested that the girls visit the charming little bar in town called _Ric's_ , and as soon as Caroline stepped in the door, she knew she was in love. Not only with _Ric's_ , but with one of the bouncers, too.

Tyler Lockwood was someone you had to take in small increments, but Caroline took all of him at once. That fact left him in awe, and quite frankly, it also pissed him off; Which just made him reciprocate Caroline's love even more.

Most days, Caroline would arrive early at _Ric's_ just to talk to Tyler. Tyler was also a bartender on the nights he wasn't a bouncer at the door, so on those days, he would mix drinks for them. One day, Caroline decided on a whim to try her hand at drink mixing, and ended up making the owner of _Ric's_ a drink. As it turned out, she had a natural knack for bartending, and was hired on the spot.

Caroline was warming up to Mystic Falls so easily that Elena was torn. There was no way she could return to Atlanta without her best friend.

It seemed like, yet again, fate had concreted the decision for the girls as a car came running up onto the sidewalk Elena was jogging on, and caused the frantic woman to tumble into the entrance of a health food store in need of a health advisor.

Elena Gilbert's job may have been to advise other people on ways to achieve their peak in their health and well-being, but she herself was lacking both of those things. Caroline knew that Elena deserved the best things in life, and so did Elena, but their versions of the best things were very different.

Caroline shook her head as she watched Elena delete another man's number out of her phone.

"Bad date?" Caroline asked. Although she was no longer genuinely interested in Elena's dating failures, she still wanted to hear what excuse Elena could come up with this time.

"He excessively went to the bathroom. It was unbelievable, Care!"

Caroline raised her eyebrow at her friend. She knew there was more to the story.

"Did he just really have to piss all the time, or was he escaping to talk to his Bathroom Mistress, Elena?"

Elena could hear the sarcasm oozing out of her friend's voice.

"Actually he was blowing his nose. A lot."

Caroline's mouth dropped open.

"Wait. Is this the same guy you told me about that had the flu last week? Would you rather have had him blow his nose while at the table with you, Queen Elena?"

"Well, if it kept him at the table. . ." Elena trailed off as Caroline rolled her eyes. Elena had always been extreme when it came to her dating life. The older she got, the more it became a nuisance rather than a humorous personality trait. Caroline held hope that one day her friend would meet her match.

She also hoped that one day Bonnie would get the happiness she deserved.

Elena hadn't noticed Bonnie slink into the front door and head up the stairs, but Caroline did. Caroline also noticed the redness in Bonnie's eyes and the puffiness under them. She tried not to notice the way Bonnie winced as she touched her own knuckles.

It had been a pretty hard week for Bonnie, and Caroline had noticed that her friend seemed to stay in her car long after she parked it in the driveway.

Longer than before.

Although complete strangers at first, Caroline immediately warmed up to Bonnie. Bonnie was someone she trusted and loved, and it hurt to see someone she loved in so much pain. Caroline wanted so badly for Bonnie to know she was there for her, but she couldn't particularly tell Bonnie that she understood; especially with her own mother alive and well as a police officer keeping the streets of Atlanta safe. Every time Caroline thought of being in Bonnie's position, her eyes moistened with unshed tears for her brave friend.

Just the thought of tomorrow being November sixth made Caroline retract into herself. She couldn't fathom how Bonnie was coping.

"Care, do you think Bon's all right?" Elena noticed Caroline had become glassy-eyed and quiet.

"Honestly? No I don't. Tomorrow is going to be such a hard day for her, but I just don't know what to do. Do we distract her, or do we just let her be?"

Elena could see the internal battle Caroline was fighting. Bonnie was strong, but after a while, being strong just wouldn't be enough.

Abruptly, Elena's eyes became light with determination.

" _Ric's_ is eighteen and up, right? She's never been down to the bar. Maybe she needs to experience some nightlife; refresh her mind a little bit!"

"I'm not sure about that, Elena. Bonnie isn't really a social-."

"Come on! What could it hurt? We'll just bring it up casually in the morning before she leaves for her shift at the store. I'm sure she'll say yes!"

Caroline said no more as she pursed her lips together and nodded her head in agreement. Her apprehensiveness was wavering as something told her that this night out may be just the thing that Bonnie Bennett needed.


	2. Chapter Two

Damon Salvatore leaned over the wooden nightstand in his bedroom with a certain level of care and consideration. He lifted the small razor blade, and lowered it in small, quick successions. He watched as the white rock became loose, light crystals of white bliss.

It called to him; caressed his soul like the way the flames of a fire lick up the log they have been set free upon, and as he inhaled, he became that pitiful log.

The substance burned through his body. It lit him on a fire that was so intense, he was afraid that his burns would be physically visible.

Of course, as he blinked away his silent tears, he knew that this fear was far too close to a reality.

…

"Oh, will you just butt the fuck," Damon scraped away at the burning pancakes that had somehow stuck to the non-stick pan, "Out of my life, Stefan. I don't need my kid brother telling me what to do."

Stefan Salvatore sighed as he walked over to the granite kitchen stove top and calmly took the spatula out of his brother's inexperienced hand. Damon awkwardly turned his back to his failed attempt at breakfast, and started to fish in the dishwasher for two plates and some silverware. Once located, he held the plates out to Stefan, and soon, both dishes were weighted down with pancakes and being carried to the small mahogany breakfast table.

"Well," Stefan took a bite out of his pancakes, "Obviously you do. You're twenty-eight years old, you have no job, and you haven't left the house since the first day we moved in."

"Yeah. So?"

"So, it's been two weeks. You haven't left the house in fourteen days, Damon."

"I know how to count, Stefan. I just haven't had a reason to leave yet."

"How about the reason of, oh I don't know, maybe grabbing lunch, or picking up a few groceries? Hell, even letting the wind blow through your hair is a good enough reason. Pretty sure if we hadn't all ready had the medication here, I would've died from the flu last week."

Damon's eyebrows raised up in shock. It wasn't that he couldn't leave the comfort of their Inn. He just hadn't wanted to. Mystic Falls wasn't the first place Damon would have chosen to settle down in, but Stefan had this extraordinary idea that the slow life for he and his older brother would do them both some good. They needed that in their lives; some good.

Damon had deduced that Mystic Falls was the very slow life. He hadn't forgotten his feelings about all the signs he had passed while moving into town that told everyone that the speed limit was restricted to twenty-five miles per hour. His only thoughts were those that tried to think of what in the Hell there was to hit in this small town that required him to drive his baby, a 1969 convertible Camaro SS, at a speed he could possibly run faster than.

"I wouldn't have let you die from the flu, Stefan. You deserve to die from something more masculine than that. Maybe a motor falling on you or something at your job."

Damon had no idea why Stefan decided to start a career as a mechanic. The siblings came from old money; neither would have to work a day in their lives, and even without the money, Stefan had a brand new computer engineering degree.

"Enough jabs at my job, Damon. I like being a mechanic. It makes me feel like I'm helping others."

Stefan lived to help others, but his compassion ruled him too much. He knew if he were to go into the medical field, or even the health field, the people he couldn't save would haunt him the entirety of his life. Being a mechanic was safe for Stefan. Cars were not human beings. They were just a little math, science, and general know-how, but humans. . .humans were different. You could provide them all the care in the world, and they'd still be broken.

"But like I said," Stefan began, "Going out with me tonight will do you some good."

Damon sighed. He had wanted to get a decent drink since he set foot in this town, and maybe _Ric's_ was the place to do that.

He was also feeling a bit sexually frustrated, and that was enough to set him over the edge.

"All right, brother," Damon smirked, "What time should I be all dolled up?"

..

"Elena's going to be there, tonight."

Damon squinted his eyes together a little as he drove his car down the boring, two lane road. He had never seen his brother become this obsessed with a woman before, and quite frankly, he thought Stefan mentioned Elena a little too much.

"Elena? The bitch that got all pissy with you?" Damon smirked as he felt his brother roll his eyes.

"She didn't get 'pissy' with me, Damon. And she isn't a bitch, okay? She just got kind of aggravated. I mean, I kept excusing myself to blow my nose every two minutes." Stefan Salvatore just had to see the good in everyone; even if there was none to be blatantly seen.

"Well, you were just getting over the fucking flu, Stefan. Excuse me for thinking she's a bit inconsiderate."

Damon felt himself sigh as he took in the sight of a blinking, dark red neon sign.

" _Ric's_." He mumbled. Something in his tone made Stefan sigh, also.

"Just give it a chance, Damon. This town could-"

Damon quickly threw his car into park and leaned back. He could immediately feel his face harden under his brother's discretion. He knew Stefan was going to say that it would do him some good. It's what Stefan always said, and without any proof to back him up, Damon was starting to lose any ounce of hope that he tried to hang onto. In fact, he often caught himself wondering whether or not he really wanted something in his life that was good.

"Don't you dare fucking say it." Damon's voice was clipped.

"Da-"

"I need a drink."

Before Stefan could get another word out, he watched as his older brother exited the Camaro; slamming the door shut behind him.

Stefan loved his brother, but at some points in time, he wasn't sure if the man slowly wasting away in front of him was his brother at all.

..

Looking down at the foam in his beer, Damon almost didn't notice the intrusion of a body on the other side of his booth.

"Pretty boy. Sitting alone in a booth. Nursing a single beer. Either you just went through a horrible, horrible break up, or you're just an ass."

Damon didn't take his eyes off of his drink.

"Fuck you. Fuck off."

He heard the sound of glass clink on the table, and then the sound of a liquid pouring quickly followed. Not a second later, the sight of a small glass filled to its limit with an amber liquid invaded his peripheral vision.

"Oh, you're just an ass, then. Well, cheers, bitch."

Damon could hear the smile in the stranger's voice as he heard him take a shot, and return his glass to the table's dark, wooden surface. Damon slowly leaned up, and looked over to his counterpart.

Damon couldn't help the small smirk that crossed his face. Something about this man told him that they would be fast friends; even if he did have one of those light brown hipster _shaved-sides-long-middle_ haircuts that Damon often ridiculed Stefan about liking.

"How's _Ric's_ treating you?"

Damon let himself scoff at the man's question as his eyes wander around the miniscule bar. The place only took up half of a crumbling brick building; its sister being Mrs. Patterson's old laundry mat. Needless to say, the industrial style brick walls, although expertly repaired, had started to crumble again a short while ago, and the dark brown linoleum floors, regardless of how many times they had been professionally waxed, still screamed out the long gone memories of 1973.

But the bar's faults also seemed to be its quirks, too. There was a certain aura of charm that Damon couldn't deny floated around _Ric's_.

"You want my honest opinion?"

The stranger lifted up the bottle and pointed toward Damon's empty glass. Damon tipped his glass over, and watched as it was filled again. The man did the same to his own empty glass, and after taking a swig of his drink, he gave Damon his affirmative nod.

"It's a shit hole," Damon watched as the man's eyebrows shot up slightly, "But, it's actually quite a charming little shit hole. I can't say that I'm not impressed."

The stranger lifted his bottle up again, and both men soon took their third shot of the night. Unsurprisingly, this fact didn't seem to phase them. Something told Damon that, along with himself, this man knew how to hold his liquor.

"Yeah, it is pretty charming. I heard the owner is a bastard, though."

"Oh, really?" Damon couldn't believe he was all ready feeding into the town gossip.

The man tucked away the bottle into the inside of his jacket for safe keeping as he moved to get up.

"Oh, yeah. I heard he likes to take shots with the patrons sometimes; especially the ones that sulk away their miseries in a booth while drinking cheap beer. I'm Alaric. Alaric Saltzman."

Alaric glanced at Damon for a second as he stood up.

"You can call me Ric. I also advise that if you're trying to not look like such a brooding dick, you might want to take a seat at the bar." Before Damon could respond, Ric was all ready heading toward the _Employees Only_ door in the corner of the building.

Damon looked over to where he saw Stefan talking to a tall, lean brunette. He let his eyes linger on her for a moment before training his eyes back down onto the old wooden table. He thought she was decent, but that was about it.

He sighed as he finally decided to lift himself up and head over to the bar. As he neared, the bartender, a slender, cheerful blonde, seemed to be headed to the other side of the bar. He shrugged as he sat down beside the patron the blonde had just helped; hoping she'd return soon.

Damon relaxed as he watched the bartender laugh loudly with the other men and women at the bar. From the corner of his eye, he saw the woman next to him take a drink from her mug. He decided then that a conversation wouldn't hurt. He let his body turned toward the mousy woman at the bar.

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 **Feedback _inspires_ me. ;)**


	3. Chapter Three

Bonnie let out a deep breath as she stood in line with Elena. She could feel Elena's penetrating glare as she kept her eyes trained on her black ankle boots.

"I can't believe you wore that, Bon."

Bonnie's dark grey jeans, black zip up tank top, and black ankle boots hadn't gone unnoticed by Elena, who flaunted around as the complete opposite of Bonnie in a blood red dress that hugged her curves, and black, sky-high stiletto heels.

"Believe it, Elena." Bonnie mumbled tiredly as the line moved forward. Unlike Elena, or even Caroline, Bonnie didn't have money to blow. She would've used her lack of a wardrobe as an excuse not to go out tonight, but Bonnie knew she would've ended up in some horrific outfit Caroline or Elena had envisioned her in.

Not that her best friends' fashion choices weren't good, they just weren't _Bonnie_.

The girls finally made it to the door where Matt Donovan was poised on its frame. He immediately nodded his head at Elena and Bonnie as a signal for them to go ahead. As Elena passed him, Matt gently stopped Bonnie with his hand on her forearm.

"You okay, Bon?" Matt smiled genuinely at Bonnie as he asked her this. Out of everyone that she knew, Matt was the only one that seemed to understand, or at least he tried to. Due to his own negligence as a new, sixteen year old driver, Matt knew what the absence of a real mother felt like.

Matt had found Bonnie crying in her car outside of _Josette's_ on a particularly stormy afternoon, and the pair immediately became fast friends.

But every time Matt saw Bonnie, he knew he wanted to be more than that.

He had only known her for six months, but there was no doubt in his mind that he was in love with Bonnie Bennett. One day he would make his move and ask her out on a simple date. He would stop trying to use the excuse that all his money was being used to take care of his younger sister, Vickie. She had graduated high school a year ago and was recently engaged to a doctor in New York. Matt now had the money, and the time, to wine and dine Bonnie like she rightfully deserved.

"I think you already know the answer to that." Bonnie gave Matt a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Matt knew what today was. He couldn't possibly ask her out right now. Instead, he sadly nodded at her, and said no more as she silently walked into the club.

Bonnie's eyes immediately scoured the scene before her and, noticing Elena talking to a man with a strong jaw line, she let her eyes continue on to find Caroline at the bar. Caroline looked up, and as soon as she saw Bonnie, she waved her over.

"Hey, Bonnie. If I had known tonight was going to be so slow, I would've chosen a different night for you and Elena to hang around."

Bonnie tried to keep her eyes from widening with surprise. If this was the slow crowd, she would have hated to have seen when it was actually packed.

"This crowd is more than enough for me, Care. I'm probably going to stay about twenty more minutes then head-"

"Bonnie Bennett! You will do no such thing. When I said you were hanging out at the club tonight, I meant actually hanging out. Not just dropping by."

Bonnie noticed Caroline dig out a mug from under her station and begin to throw together an orange cream soda.

"I have to work tomorrow afternoon and probably should be heading to bed right now to get my full eight hours of rest. You know how I get when I'm sleepy."

Caroline rolled her eyes as she slid the soda in front of Bonnie.

"Nice try, Bon, but it's only eight. At least stay until nine!" Instead of responding to Caroline's request, Bonnie took a sip of her orange cream soda. Caroline energetically smiled, then walked off to tend to other patrons.

The space around Bonnie was immediately inhabited by a presence that was so strong, it almost bordered on suffocating.

"She's a ray of sunshine, isn't she?"

Bonnie smiled to herself. She could tell the bubble intruder wasn't insulting her friend in any way. He was simply admiring her take on life. She turned toward the man.

"I guess you could say that. She _is_ quite refreshing."

Damon Salvatore could feel his lips part slightly as he locked eyes with the sad woman in front of him. She had bags under her dark green eyes, and she looked far too pale for her own complexion, but he could make out the faint lines around her mouth from the past lives of long gone smiles.

She was beautiful.

"I'm Damon Salvatore." Bonnie watched as the confident man held out his hand expectantly.

"Bonnie Bennett." She gently let Damon's broad fingers envelope hers in a brief handshake.

Time stopped.

Bonnie often lived day to day wishing time would speed up, but as soon as she felt Damon's fingers on hers, the urge to continue doing so ceased to exist. She wanted to live in this single moment forever.

Damon immediately noticed the look on Bonnie's face. It mirrored his own.

"Nice to meet you, Bonnie." He couldn't stop the smile that conquered his face.

She couldn't control her smile either.

"You too, Damon."

..

"Fuck! You feel so good, Bonnie."

Bonnie heard Damon's deep groan from the hallow of her throat as she lay on her side, and he thrust into her from behind. His breath on her bare neck sent shudders throughout her entire body, and her eyes almost rolled into the back of her head as she felt every inch of him inside of her. God, she knew this was wrong. She knew she was vulnerable, and that Damon probably did something like this every weekend.

But as she felt her pussy begin to involuntarily twitch around Damon's member, she really couldn't find it in herself to care.

For the first time in a long time, Bonnie felt alive. Every time Damon thrust deeply into her, she could barely hold back her screams. He was very well-endowed, and he wanted her to know it.

Damon slowly slid himself from inside of Bonnie. As he twisted himself so that he was on top of her, and she was below him, he took her delicate hand and directed it to wrap around the rock hard shaft of his dick. He could have came right then and there. Her warm hand seemed to spark something within him; seemed to light him like a candle that hadn't been used in years.

He tore her hand away from him, and roughly lowered himself back into the wet paradise that seemed to be specifically made for him. He could fuck her for hours.

..

"So, you fucked Elena last night, then she _made_ you do the Walk of Shame?"

Stefan sighed as he took a bite of the toast on his plate.

"First off, we didn't fuck. We made love," Stefan paused as Damon scoffed. "And she didn't make me do anything, Damon. She just had to work this morning so she dropped me off here then-"

"Good morning, Bonnie." For a second, Damon cutting him off immensely annoyed Stefan.

Until he saw the way his brother looked at the beautiful caramel colored girl just as she stepped into the kitchen.

Stefan let his eyes meet hers for a second before she looked away. He recognized her as the girl Elena had pointed out as one of her roommates and close friends.

Bonnie smiled at Damon bashfully as she stood by the table where the two brothers were seated. She almost felt naked in front of them. Damon quickly rose and walked over to the microwave, and, to Bonnie's surprise, he removed two plates filled to the brim with various breakfast foods, and balanced them on one hand and a forearm.

"Let's go out and eat on the patio." Damon slightly inclined his head to the veranda doors, and Bonnie began to walk in that direction.

"Nice to meet you, Stefan." Bonnie softly smiled over her shoulder as Damon took her hand and lead her to the iron wrought table in the center of the stone patio.

Bonnie watched as Damon held out her chair, and after making sure she was seated safely in front of her meal, disappeared back into the house. Moments later, he reappeared with a pitcher of orange juice and two champagne glasses. He used his right foot to gracefully close the doors behind him, and quickly made his way over to Bonnie. He sat the glass down in front of her, and filled it half of the way with orange juice.

Bonnie watched as Damon took a sip from his glass and stared at her. His blue eyes were like waters that waved against the coast of Bonnie's own private island. She couldn't find it in herself to look away.

Fortunately, neither could Damon.

He was just as absorbed in her dark green eyes as he was last night.

Bonnie finally picked up her fork and began to eat with a deliberate slowness to her movements. She didn't want to risk embarrassing herself by missing her mouth or breaking something.

Damon followed her example and began to eat his plethora of breakfast. The two seemed to drown in a silence that was quickly becoming uncomfortable.

"Well, right now I wish there was something stronger than orange juice in this glass. For some reason, I think we both need it."

Bonnie slightly giggled around her fork, and Damon was immediately entranced by the sound. He could hear it every day and not tire of it.

"Yeah. They say the morning after is supposed to be awkward, but-" Bonnie flicked her wrist lightly, which sent her fork flying over onto Damon's plate.

"I'm so sorry!" Bonnie's eyes were wide as Damon peered down at the foreign fork on his plate. He slowly brought his eyes up and met Bonnie's deer-in-headlights look.

Boisterous laughter immediately filled the calm patio as Damon picked up the fork and handed it to Bonnie; making sure their hands touched.

Bonnie allowed herself to join in on the laughter as she looked at Damon. His eyes were bright, and his skin seemed to glow softly. She couldn't help but think that he didn't laugh like this often.

"Bonnie, it's fine!" Damon seemed to sober up after a few minutes. "Seriously, though. When was the last time you had a good drink? Maybe we could go out later to this..."

Damon's voice seemed to trail off as Bonnie started to get a grasp on the reality of the situation. She and Damon knew nothing about each other, yet here she was sitting less than two feet away from him; eating breakfast the morning after an amazing sex session. She didn't know his age, where he was from, his occupation. . .Hell, she didn't even pay attention to whether he was a boxer or brief kind of guy.

Bonnie hated November, and it seemed like, with the events of last night playing in her now-rational mind, she always would.

"How's that sound, Bonnie? I could drop you off, then pick you up from your job."

Bonnie looked at Damon's upbeat countenance. He was trying hard, but he couldn't fool her. Damon Salvatore was usually not like this. Bonnie couldn't help but selfishly wonder if she were the reason for his change.

"Sure, Damon. I'd love to go out with you tonight." Playing it cool, she decided to add in a question she had been itching to ask. "So, how old are you?"

"Oh, we did kind of slip over all the details last night, didn't we?" Damon warmly smiled at her. "I'm twenty-eight. I'll be twenty-nine on January twenty-first. How about you?"

Bonnie felt the color drain from her cheeks. It immediately dawned on her that she'd randomly had a one night stand with someone almost a decade older than her. Bonnie Bennett didn't do one night stands, and she most certainly didn't do thirty year olds.

She took a drink of orange juice and cleared her throat. Her saliva seemed thicker than usual as she tried to swallow before speaking.

"I'm eighteen."

Damon's eyes widened a small margin, but he let out an amused laugh.

"Eighteen what? Months older than me? Days younger than me?"

Bonnie looked down at her half-eaten eggs.

"Well, I'll be nineteen on December tenth."

"You're eighteen years old?" Damon's voice seemed detached.

"Yes."

"Oh. All right." Damon suddenly found his own half-eaten eggs very interesting.

After a few long moments of silence, Bonnie watched as Damon got up and went back into the house; shutting the doors behind him. Loud, but muffled, voices invaded her ears as she looked awkwardly at the juice in her glass.

Five more minutes passed before the doors to the kitchen opened up again. Bonnie tried not to let her face betray her as Stefan began to slowly walk toward her as though she were a cornered lamb.

"Hey, Bonnie? Damon isn't feeling too well. He told me to drop you off back at your place. Is that all right with you?"

Bonnie could swear she saw a curtain skillfully move at the second story window directly above the veranda doors, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Getting up and leaving her breakfast behind, Bonnie said the only word she hoped wouldn't give away to the tremble in her voice.

"Okay."

The tremble was loud and clear.


	4. Chapter Four

"She's a child, Stefan!" Damon exploded as soon as he had securely closed the veranda doors behind him.

"Damon, you didn't..." Stefan trailed off as he slowly stood up with wide eyes. Damon had done some wild things in his lifetime, but Stefan really hoped sleeping with a minor wasn't about to be added to the list.

"She's only eighteen!" Damon let his fit land a little too hard on the kitchen counter he now stood in front of.

"Okay?" Stefan raised an eyebrow. He didn't see the problem.

"Stefan, what the hell is wrong with you? She's barely legal. She's-"

"An adult. Probably more of one than you're portraying yourself as right now." Stefan interrupted him as he made his way over to the counter, and then clasped his hand over his older brother's shoulder.

Damon jerked away and practically jogged to the stairway that led upstairs to the bedrooms.

"I'm suddenly feeling ill. Take her home."

"Damon, you're being-" Stefan's yell was directed at empty space as Damon had all ready fled up the stairs.

"An idiot." Stefan finished his sentence calmly as he made his way out onto the patio to talk to Bonnie. He knew this would hurt her, and it would hurt him to do it, but he owed Damon his life. So, how could he have said no?

..

Damon let the curtains fall back into place as he turned away from the window. He stood in silence for a few seconds as he listened to the open and close of the front door. Walking over to the desk positioned in a cozy corner of his room, he sighed as he slowly sat down in the matching desk chair. From his current angle, he could clearly see his bed. He could also see the ghosted images of Bonnie Bennett; wrapped up in his sheets with him after writhing under him in what had been the most passionate experience of his life.

Why had he reacted to Bonnie's age so ignorantly? Stefan was right. She was an adult just like him. In fact, he had his own suspicions that she was probably more of an adult than he was now.

Damon immediately let his hand pull out the second drawer down on his desk and fish inside for what he knew he had to have.

As he felt the familiar warm burn start to take over his body, he also felt the warm tears as they began to slide down his cheeks.

..

Bonnie was staring out of the window, but she still felt Stefan's eyes darting over to her as she sat in the passenger seat of his 1963 Porsche 356B Karmann Coupe. If it weren't for the melancholy mood she was currently in, Bonnie could see her and Stefan having an amazing conversation about his antique automobile.

She had practically squealed on sight last night when she saw that Damon owned the car she had dreamed of having since she was a small girl.

It stung to think of his name.

"Our dad was a car enthusiast."

Bonnie quickly turned her head to Stefan's abrupt statement. She softly raised her eyebrows in a motion for him to continue.

"It's just...I saw the way you looked at my car before you got in. It wasn't a look of surprise or confusion as to why a grown man is driving a tiny red car, which was the reaction Elena had by the way," Stefan chuckled. "But it was a look of appreciation. I knew immediately you recognized what kind of car this was."

"Yeah. Not really a fan of Porsche, though. I prefer muscle rather than luxury."

Bonnie's voice came out more stable than she had thought possible. She felt warm around Stefan. It was nice.

"Oh, then you would love Damon's- Sorry." Stefan looked apologetic as he quickly changed the subject. "So, are you in college?"

"No."

"Why not?" Bonnie could see that Stefan wasn't being nosy. He was just curious.

"I kind of have a lot on my plate right now." She didn't choose to elaborate, and that was just fine with Stefan.

"I have a degree in Computer Engineering. I really wanted to be a doctor, though."

"Why didn't you become one?"

Stefan was silent for so long, Bonnie started to see the girls' house up ahead and thought for sure he wasn't going to answer her, and the truth was, he wasn't really sure why he _did_ answer.

"My life has been filled with nothing but loss, Bonnie. I couldn't allow myself to lose patients either."

Bonnie's eyes felt heavy with moisture.

"Maybe you wouldn't have ever lost a patient." Bonnie looked at Stefan as they made the turn into the driveway and he unlocked the doors.

"If the world could only be that perfect." Stefan smirked, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'll see you later, Bonnie. Nice meeting you."

"You too, Stefan."

..

"You what?" Caroline's hand had paused in mid-air with her bagel inches away from her mouth as she used her other hand to hold her phone to her ear. She listened intently to the voice on the other end, and finally took a bite of her bagel.

"So, you're just going to leave Kelly like that Matt? What if she-" Caroline listened as Matt interrupted her. "Yes, Matt. I know you still love her, but-"

Matt's voice seemed to turn icy as Caroline listened. She glanced up as the front door opened, and she heard footsteps grow louder as they neared the kitchen.

Bonnie appeared in the doorway, and let out a deep sigh as she leaned on the counter.

"Hey, I gotta go. I'll see you at the club later, okay?" Caroline ended the call and quickly stood up.

"I would definitely be ambushing you for details right now, but you really don't look like you're glowing. What happened?"

"We had sex. I'll let you know it was phenomenal." Bonnie saw Caroline smile a little as she continued. "We ate breakfast together on his patio, and then he found out I was eighteen and had his younger brother drop me off here."

Bonnie immediately felt two slender arms as they wrapped around her. She didn't stop herself from letting her head fall into the crook of Caroline's neck. It wasn't long before she felt the warm moisture on her cheeks.

She couldn't believe she had been so dumb. She just thought Damon was different. She had _felt_ that he was different.

Caroline tried not to let herself notice the warm moisture she felt falling from her friend's cheeks onto her shirt. She also tried not to notice the low, heart breaking sound of Bonnie's sobbing.

..

"Care, I'm not just leaving Kelly! Even if I do leave, she knows I still love her."

Matt Donovan paused and listened to Caroline's voice of reason on the phone. She just didn't understand.

"I can't just sit around, Caroline! Vicki left, so why can't I? I can't let my guilt control my life anymore."

"Hey, I gotta go. I'll see you at the club later, okay?" Matt listened to the beeping sound as it signaled the end of the call. He then stared at his phone screen to confirm that Caroline Forbes had indeed hung up on him.

This was one of the reasons Matt never called or opened up to Caroline. She never seemed to pay attention to anyone or anything but herself.

But Bonnie was different. Bonnie listened. She was there for him even when he felt like he wasn't even there for himself.

"Matty, I'm heading out."

Matt's eyes shot up at the dark brunette haired woman as she walked quickly passed the sofa he was sitting on. He let his cell phone slide out of his hand, then crossed his arms over his chest.

"Kelly." He stated. The brunette sighed heavily as she stood with her back to him.

"What?"

"Turn around."

Kelly stomped her high heeled foot on the cheap linoleum floor as she turned to face Matt.

"What the hell are you wearing?"

Matt eyed Kelly as she let her eyebrow raise and popped the gum in her mouth. She had on a short, black halter top, a dark red alligator mini skirt, and black, leather thigh high boots. Her faux fur coat just topped off the ensemble.

"Nothing." Kelly mumbled.

Matt uncrossed his arms and stood up.

"You might as well be! Where do you think you're going dressed like that?"

"Not that it concerns you, but I'm going over Pete's."

Matt felt his head start to spin. Kelly had been dating Pete for two years now, and he had done nothing but add to her downward spiral. Whenever she needed a fix, he was there to give it to her.

Matt quickly walked over to Kelly and blocked her exit.

"I can't let you do that."

Kelly gritted her teeth together, and Matt knew she was becoming irate. He closed his eyes for what was about to happen next.

A sharp sound cut through the air, and the left side of Matt's face felt as if it were on fire. For Matt, fire would've been much better.

He tried not to let angry tears leave his eyes as he stared into the cold, emotionless countenance of the woman in front of him.

This was the same woman who had smiled and screamed his name out in triumph when he had made his first touchdown as a high school football player. This was the same woman who had let him sleep in her bed when he was a child whenever there was a thunderstorm that was so loud, and so frightening, he thought he needed her near him to survive it.

This was the same woman that had stopped coming to his football games, and stopped being home at night, and this was the same woman who used to be Kelly Donovan; the woman who used to be Matt's mom.

Matt held his face and moved from in front of the door. He watched silently as his mother pulled her coat tightly around her, and harshly pulled open the door. She didn't glance at Matt as she stepped out into the cold night air, and slammed the door shut behind her.

Still holding his face, Matt made his way over to the old couch and sat down. He rested his elbows on his thighs, and let his head be supported by his hands. His body started to shake as his sobs came out in gasps, and with each gasp, Matt found it harder to want to keep breathing.

He grabbed his cell phone up from the couch in one abrupt motion, and called the one person who he knew could give him breath again. As the phone rang, he ran his hand roughly over his face, and cleared his throat.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end sounded shaky, but Matt couldn't dwell on that at the moment.

"Hey, Bonnie."

* * *

 **Hey, guys! If you all like this story, if you're also a Klaroliner, I'm in a fandom contest for my other story, Dissipating Darkness. If you would, please read and like it! inkitt.[backslash]** **stories[backslash]28384 Thanks for reading so far!**


	5. Chapter Five

**Okay, shorter chapter because didn't want too much to happen just yet! Also, sorry for the delay. Just started a new job, and about to start school in three days. Anyway, here it is!**

* * *

Bonnie closed her eyes and breathed out deeply as she rested against the backside of the kitchen door. It was seven o'clock, and Bonnie was taking her lunch before her three until ten shift ended. Usually, she spent her thirty minute lunch attempting to relax in her car, but tonight was a different story.

She watched as the blonde haired and blue eyed man entered the diner, and comfortably sat down in a booth in the corner. He took a black duffle bag off of his shoulder and scooted it against the wall.

Bonnie quickly removed her waitress apron and hung it up on the jacket hook by the door.

"Have a nice lunch, Bonnie." Jo winked as she nodded her head toward where Matt Donovan was casually looking around the diner from his spot at the booth. Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"It's not like that, Jo."

Jo's eyebrows shot up as Bonnie began to walk through the kitchen door.

"Well, I hope you told _him_ that."

Bonnie ignored Jo's comment as she let the kitchen door close behind her. She tried not to notice the way Matt's eyes lit up as soon as he caught a glimpse of her walking over to him.

Before she could sit, Matt stood up, and pulled her into a tight hug. Bonnie immediately relaxed. She had forgotten how it felt to be hugged by Matt.

She never wanted to forget again.

She breathed in his familiar scent, and welcomed his firm, but gentle, grip around her body. In his arms, Bonnie felt lighter. She felt like she could face anything and come out on top. More importantly, when Bonnie hugged Matt, she swore that, although for just a few seconds, she felt complete.

A small part of her had also wished that it was Damon Salvatore hugging her instead of Matt.

As Bonnie sat down, she chided herself silently. Damon had dumped her onto his brother like she was some piece of filth that he could never been seen in public with again, and the bad thing was that Bonnie didn't blame him. Bonnie felt dirty. She felt as though she had made another bad mistake in her long list of mistakes. She often felt like her first mistake was not offing herself a long time ago.

Bonnie put on a smile as her eyes met Matt's.

"Hey, Bonnie. How's work been?"

"It's been sort of slow." Bonnie sighed as Matt reached into his duffle bag and pulled out a container along with two plates and two forks. She watched as he started to distribute what was in the container out onto the plates. "Anyway, I was surprised this morning when you said you wanted to have lunch with me, though. Usually you're getting ready to go down to _Ric's_ right about now."

Matt slid one plate in front of Bonnie and kept one in front of himself. He reached back into the duffle bag and dug out some canned sodas. He passed Bonnie a strawberry one while keeping the lemon-lime one for himself.

Bonnie looked down at the lunch Matt had prepared. Since it was seven in the evening, Matt had taken it upon himself to bring Bonnie dinner instead. A delicious looking pile of lasagna called to her as she began to dig in. Somehow, she knew it wasn't a coincidence that Matt had bought in her favorite food and beverage.

"I can be an hour or so late. Alaric won't mind. I just really needed to see you."

Bonnie nodded her head in understanding. She hadn't forgotten the way Matt's voice sounded as she answered the phone yesterday afternoon. Even now, as she tried to keep her eyes from lingering on the red, swollen area of Matt's face, she knew he needed her.

"Have you heard from Kelly?"

"No." Matt's voice was grave. He knew he wouldn't hear from her for quite some time. Kelly never liked to leave and come straight back.

"Maybe you should call her, Matt."

"There's no point, Bonnie. Her phone's on her nightstand. She doesn't want to be bothered."

" _She_ doesn't want to be bothered, or _you_ don't want to be?"

Bonnie watched as Matt sank lower into his seat and sighed out loud.

Eight years ago, Matt Donovan had watched his mother's life flash before his eyes. He had seen the light drain out of her eyes. He had felt the warmth leave her body. He saw his dead mother sitting in the passenger seat beside of him; the whole side of the car seeming to caress her body like a horrifying catcher's mitt.

If only he had made a complete stop at that stop sign. If he hadn't did a rolling stop, maybe his mother would be here. His _real_ mother. The only thing left of her now was this ghost parading around; pretending to be Kelly Donovan.

"I suppose it's a little bit of both, Bon. It's been eight years, and she's just getting worse."

"So, she rejected the offer for treatment again." Bonnie wasn't asking anything. She knew that Kelly didn't want help.

Matt sighed again as he shook his head affirmatively.

"I'm just so tired, Bonnie." Moisture began to build up in Matt's eyes as he looked up at the ceiling then looked back at Bonnie. "I've decided to move out."

"You're going to leave her alone?"

"It's the only way. Vickie left, so why can't I? Why do I have to stick around and watch my mom kill herself? Why should I be the one to have to live with my own guilt every time I see my mom rummaging through the bathroom cabinets for some leftovers of her old pain killers?"

Bonnie felt tears start to sting her own eyes. How could Matt be so selfish? He had a mother. He could hear her voice; feel her touch. He didn't have to pretend to have a conversation with Kelly in his head, or have to stop himself from dialing a number that had been disconnected five years ago. Matt's mom was right in front of him, and he was letting himself lose her.

"You shouldn't have to, Matt," Bonnie rested her hand palm-upward on the table as she made eye contact with her friend. He immediately put his hand in hers as she continued, "but maybe leaving her isn't the best idea."

She watched as Matt's face seemed to morph into anger.

"Why do you say that?" His tone was accusing. He couldn't believe Bonnie was saying the same thing as Caroline.

"She's your mother-"

"No she's not! My mom died that day in the car."

"No she didn't!" Bonnie couldn't hold her voice steady as she jerked her hand out of Matt's. "She didn't die. She's here walking around, not laying six feet deep in some forgotten hole in the ground."

Matt's eyes softened.

"Bonnie, I—I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Bonnie suddenly rose from her seat and wiped her eyes.

"I have to get back to work."

"Bonnie-"

"I'll see you later."

Matt watched as Bonnie turned and quickly made her way back to the kitchen doors. She didn't chance another glance at him.

..

Damon Salvatore stared down at the red roses in his leather passenger seat. He had no idea what he was doing here.

The dingy lettering of the _Josette's_ sign seemed to blink as he started to pull out of his parking spot. He roughly put his car into park and leaned over the steering wheel as he listened to the rain beginning to fall. Why was he here? He had no idea why he couldn't seem to stop thinking of some one night stand he had. It was ridiculous that some random woman in a bar could have caused him to rethink everything he had done in the past fifteen years. She had actually made him feel like what had happened to him wasn't the end of the world like he had made it seem.

Bonnie Bennett had made him feel _good_. She had made him feel like that for once he wasn't the bad guy; like for once he wasn't a murderer.

Damon stopped right outside the door as something captured his attention through the glass window. He could feel the rain soaking into his clothes, but he couldn't help but let his eyes drift down to the spot where Bonnie's hand lay, clasped with the club bouncer's. Raged filled him, and the roses hit he ground in an angry throw.

Damon didn't bother picking them back up as he turned away from the scene he was watching unfold, and made his way back to his Camaro. He quickly put the car into gear, and sped away from _Josette's_ ; leaving the beautiful caramel girl in his rear view mirror.

..

Bonnie sighed loudly as she parked her car in the driveway. Her eyes automatically looked over to the roses she had carefully sat in her passenger seat. They had almost been crushed by her feet as she walked out of the diner. She wouldn't have paid them any mind if it weren't for the bright red card sticking to one of the rickety stems.

She lightly touched the red card again. It held four lone words: _Bonnie Bennett, I'm sorry._

There was no doubt in her mind that these roses were from Damon Salvatore. A part of her wanted to talk to him, but another part of her wanted to ignore him and their situation in its entirety. If she pretended it didn't exist, maybe one day it wouldn't. That was often her go to solution, but it was often her downfall, too.

She bundled the roses up into her arms, and opened the door to get out. It seemed to be raining harder than before. As soon as she started to quickly walk toward the front door, Stefan Salvatore's car screeched to a stop at the end of the driveway. Before Bonnie could turn around to approach him and see what was wrong, Elena Gilbert practically ran out of the house. When she saw Bonnie, she barely came to a stop as she grabbed Bonnie's hand.

"Damon's been in a car accident! Are you coming or not?" Bonnie could see the pleading look in Elena's eyes. Elena wanted her to come along.

Instead of answering, Bonnie nodded and followed behind Elena; throwing caution into the wind.

* * *

 **If you like Klaroline fanfiction, I'm in a fandom contest for my other story, _Dissipating Darkness_. If you would, please read and like it! inkitt.[backslash]stories[backslash]28384 Thanks for reading so far!**


	6. Chapter Six

It was hot. So hot. Damon could barely breathe as he walked down the hallway. He felt his skin start to become saturated with sweat as he finally made it to the end of the hall and turned right.

"Damon."

Stefan stood by the window, and light seemed to dimly illuminate the space behind him.

"Stefan? Stefan, is that you?" Damon took a tentative step forward, but his younger brother stepped back.

"You left them, Damon. You let them die."

Damon looked into Stefan's dark green eyes. It felt as though they were piercing into his soul. Damon could feel a warm moistness trail down his overly heated cheeks. He didn't know if he could find his voice to speak.

"I—I didn't." His voice came out in a croak as he tried to collect his thoughts. "They—They told me to save you, Stefan. I didn't just let them die!"

Stefan appeared right in front of Damon, and Damon felt Stefan's hand grip onto his wrist. Compared to Damon, Stefan was ice cold.

"You killed them!" Damon started to feel like he would lose his wrist. He couldn't even speak any longer as Stefan's grip became tighter. "Maybe you should join them, Damon."

Stefan's voice echoed loudly as Damon tried to shake off his brother. He looked up at Stefan as the pain brought him down to his knees.

"Damon? Damon? Can you hear me?"

The world around Damon started to shake violently. His vision blurred, and it felt as though something was tugging him back to a place he wasn't even sure was real. He was almost positive he didn't want it to be.

Light filled Damon's eyes suddenly as his lids blinked open. He took in the white ceiling and the smell of his sterile surroundings. Was he in the hospital?

He sat up so fast that his head began to spin. He felt a firm hand on his back, and heard someone worriedly say his name, but as he took in the view in front of him, none of that mattered.

Her rain-soaked brown hair fanned around her face as she sat against the wooden hospital chair. Damon felt breathless. Her skin glowed all the way down to her fingertips; where her right hand clutched tightly around a bouquet of roses.

Damon's eyes drifted back up to Bonnie's face, and her green eyes made him feel alive again. They made him feel home.

"Damon. Speak to me."

A voice that tried to hide its trembling finally broke through to Damon. He slowly turned to his right side where his brother was kneeling beside of him; his hand placed on his back.

"Stefan." Damon's voice sounded scratchy. He sounded tired.

Stefan immediately stood up and jerked his brother into a hug. He patted him hard on the back as he hugged him tighter, and Damon swore that he could feel warm tears saturating his shoulder.

He watched as Stefan pulled himself away and roughly ran his hand across his face; removing any evidence of tears.

"We're so glad you're okay." Elena's Gilbert's voice came from beside of Bonnie. Damon hadn't even noticed the brunette standing there.

"Yeah. What the hell happened tonight, Damon? They said you veered into a ditch, and you were knocked unconscious by your head hitting the steering wheel."

The sound of tires screeching invaded Damon's every being. He remembered how the steering wheel jerked in his hands as he tried to gain control of the Camaro. He could feel the tail-end of his car losing its traction as the tree became closer and closer to his windshield. He couldn't let it end that way. With one last, strong turn of his hands, the front end of his car turned sharply left; diving into the deep, recently cleaned ditch.

"The back end of my car lost traction first, so I ran it into the ditch to avoid hitting a tree."

"Were you speeding?" Stefan sounded angry. He knew Damon hadn't gotten into an accident on purpose, but he also knew Damon was the only family he had left. Without Damon, he'd have no one. Stefan didn't want to be alone again.

"I may have been a little..distracted." Damon tried not to let his eyes dart over to Bonnie.

"Distracted? You almost killed yourself speeding down a rainy, empty highway because you were _distracted_? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Hey!" Elena quickly walked over and placed her hands on each side of Stefan's biceps. "Stefan, he's right here. He's safe. That's the important part."

Damon watched as his brother's eyes softened. Just as Stefan opened his mouth to apologize, a small voice filled the room.

"It's my fault, isn't it?"

Stefan quickly turned his attention to Bonnie.

"Of course not, Bonnie! He was speeding-"

"But I was the reason he was distracted." Bonnie's eyes met Damon's, and it felt like the first time they had met was happening all over again. It was hard for her not to allow herself to drown in them. "You came to the diner to see me, didn't you?"

Damon didn't respond back as he let his eyes drift down to the roses again. Elena and Stefan did the same.

"These roses...you left them, didn't you?"

"Stefan, let's go grab some coffee." Elena led Stefan through the doorway, but not before dragging the door shut behind her.

..

Bonnie watched in silence as the door clicked shut behind her friend. She could almost hear herself blink in the silence that ensued.

"So, you got the roses." Damon's attempt at humor almost charmed Bonnie. She had to control herself. This was the same man that had abandoned her not even eight hours after being inside of her.

"I stumbled onto them, but yes. I got them." Bonnie started to count the flecks of grey dots in the tiled floor. She couldn't look at Damon.

Bonnie heard the shuffle of Damon scooting to the end of the bed. His close proximity washed over her immediately. Nothing had changed.

"Look at me, Bonnie." Her name poured over his lips like the way a smooth drink slid down your throat. It burned, but in its wake lingered a warm ghost.

Bonnie looked up, and was met with Damon Salvatore's icy blue eyes.

"I am so sorry, Bonnie. I just didn't know how to handle this."

"Handle what? The fact that I'm eighteen?"

"Yes." Damon stated this plainly.

Bonnie moved to get up, but Damon's hand shot out and gently wrapped around her forearm.

"Don't go. Please. I didn't mean it that way. I mean, yes, your age is what I couldn't handle, but the reason I couldn't handle it was because I didn't want to try."

"What made you change your mind?"

Damon finally broke eye contact with Bonnie. It was almost as if he was embarrassed.

"You did."

..

"So, I replaced your tire and headlight."

Damon looked up from the list he was writing. Stefan stood in the doorway to his bedroom.

"Thanks, little brother." A smug grin crossed Damon's features as Stefan crossed his arms over his chest and sighed.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

Damon looked down at his list and began to write again.

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm serious, Damon. When I got that call, at first I—I thought I had lost you. I can't lose you. Especially after m-"

"I get it, Stefan. You thought I was dead, you proceeded to freak out, and now I'm alive and you're at ease. Congratulations." Damon never looked up at his brother.

"You're a dick." Stefan stated.

"Thanks." Damon's pen moved swiftly over the paper as he heard Stefan walking toward him.

"What the hell are you writing?" Stefan quickly jerked the paper from in front of Damon and began to read it. "Candles, rose pedals, red wine...what is this? A list?"

Damon rolled his eyes as he tried to pry the list away from his brother.

"That's generally what these things are called."

Stefan let Damon take possession of the paper, and crossed his arms over his chest again.

"I know what lists are, Damon. I'm just wondering what that one is for."

"A man just can't make a list?"

"Damon."

"All right. It's a list of things I need to buy for a date."

"A date?"

"Yes. With Bonnie."

Stefan's eyebrows creased as he looked at Damon.

"Bonnie? Bonnie Bennett?"

"Yes."

"The same Bonnie that you kicked out?"

"I didn't kick her out. I simply chose not to take her home. There's a difference, brother." Damon smugly smiled. "Anyway, all has been forgiven."

"So, she forgave you, and now you have a date with her?" Stefan didn't want to let Damon hear the astonishment in his voice. He couldn't believe Bonnie had went that easy on his brother.

"We don't have a date set or anything, yet, but it's coming together, Stefan."

Stefan watched as Damon winced a little as he lightly touched his nose.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure, Damon? Because your nose looks a little sore."

"Oh, I just had a little accident."

Stefan began to smirk.

"Really? What did you run into? A wall, a door...?"

"Bonnie's fist."

..

"I can't believe you punched that prick! Way to go, Bon."

Bonnie hopped up onto the opposite facing counter, and watched as Elena and Caroline chopped up some vegetables for their omelettes.

"Caroline! Don't praise her for being violent."

"What? She's far from violent, Elena. She's just kicking some ass-"

"And she's right here, you guys." Bonnie let her eyes wander down to the grout in the tile as she swung her feet lightly. "Don't pretend like she isn't."

"You're right, Bonnie. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you violent. You were just sticking up for yourself. Even if he is my boyfriend's brother, he's still a dick."

"Boyfriend?" The smile in Caroline's voice was evident as she stopped cutting up her side of the vegetables.

Caroline had only heard Elena refer to a male as her boyfriend once, and this particular male had been the one to take Elena's virginity during her senior year of high school. Caroline knew that if Elena had added labels to her relationship to Stefan Salvatore, it had to be serious.

"Yeah, Elena. Boyfriend?" Bonnie smiled as the attention was diverted from her.

"Why are the both of you so worried about my life?" Elena scooped up her vegetables and began to toss them into the pan. The girls could see her smirk.

"Bonnie and I both know how the _Boyfriends of Elena Gilbert_ are few and far in between. So, spill."

For the first time in a long time, a wide smile made its way onto Elena's countenance. She couldn't even attempt to try and hide it.

"He's perfect. More than perfect. Stefan Salvatore was made for me."

Caroline squealed as Bonnie softly smiled.

Bonnie tried not to let her facial expression betray her feelings. The moment she and Damon Salvatore had touched, Bonnie thought she had finally found someone that could understand her and be there for her.

But as her fist connected with his nose last night, she finally realized how wrong she had been.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Don't all hate me at once. Make sure to hate my classes for being tedious, and to hate my job for giving me way too many hours. But here it is! Another day in _November_.**

* * *

A welcoming warmth radiated throughout his entire being as he slammed the shot glass down onto his usual table. Damon hated to admit it, but he had become quite the regular at _Ric's_ in the past week.

What he tried not to admit to, though, was the fact that he had become a regular purely in the hopes that he would catch a glimpse of Bonnie Bennett.

As the night started to whine down, much like the other six nights, Damon knew he wouldn't see her tonight either.

"She didn't show up again, huh buddy?"

Damon tried not to sigh as Alaric sat down in the booth across from him. He had become fast friends with the bar owner.

"What do you think, Ric? Of course she didn't." Damon's voice was laced in sarcasm. Alaric gave him a smug grin in response.

"Don't take out your sex deficit on me. You fucked it up with Bonnie all by your lonesome."

"Have you been speaking with my brother?"

"Probably more so than you have."

Damon exhaled loudly.

"Stefan doesn't understand. He has _his_ girl."

"Damon, you _had_ the girl. Wait, let me rephrase that. The girl had _you_."

Damon let his left eyebrow raise inquisitively. No woman had ever gotten Damon Salvatore. He was the getter. He was the one who made sure to leave the woman begging for me, then silently leave during the night. There was no way Alaric was right. Bonnie Bennett hadn't caught him.

But as he stared down into his empty shot glass, he let his mind wander.

The moment he had lay his eyes on Bonnie Bennett was the moment time had stood still for him. She had made him forget his past. She made him forget all the terrible things he had done. She had almost made him forget who he really was.

But the moment he had felt her fist against his face, he knew he was just Damon Salvatore. He knew that was all he'd ever be without her by his side.

As Damon lifted his eyes up from his shot glass, he knew Alaric was right. Bonnie Bennett had caught him.

And he had no intentions of allowing her to let him go.

..

Caroline Forbes wiped off the bar with a little more force than necessary. Her eyes kept darting to where Damon Salvatore sat talking freely to Alaric Saltzman. As they finally got up to head to Alaric's place above the bar, she couldn't help but wonder how Alaric could be that scumbag's friend.

"Care, I think the bar's clean."

Caroline immediately looked up at her boyfriend, Tyler Lockwood, as his stern voice filled the air around her.

"Oh, hey, Ty." She stood up straight, and then began to adjust her drink glasses. She didn't know he was scheduled to work tonight.

"Hello, Caroline." Tyler crossed his arms over his chest. "Why were you staring at that guy over there?"

Caroline tried not to let her eyes roll as she threw her rag into the sink behind her.

Caroline loved Tyler Lockwood, but it was becoming more and more apparent that he had an anger problem. Although the people around her had told Caroline that she had calmed him down, it only made her wonder just how bad his problem used to be; especially since it seemed like he was only becoming worse.

"I wasn't staring at Damon—" Caroline winced. She hadn't meant to say Damon's name.

"Oh. So, you know him?"

"He's Bonnie's..." She trailed off as she tried to think of a word to describe Damon.

"Bonnie's what? Or is he really yours, and you're just using Bonnie as a cover up?"

Caroline sighed as she ignored Tyler's endless questions. They were becoming a common occurrence lately.

Caroline wasn't prepared for what happened next.

A sharp pain went through her left wrist as Tyler wrapped his fingers around it.

"Tyler-"

"Who's Damon, Caroline?"

"Tyler, you're hurting me. Let go."

"Tell me who Damon is!" Tyler's voice boomed throughout the bar, and Matt Donovan immediately appeared inside of the doorway.

"I already told you! Let me go, Tyler!" Caroline accentuated her words with a hard tug of her wrist just as Tyler let go.

Her wrist roughly hit the edge of the bar, and as she brought her right hand up to stabilize it, Tyler quickly turned away and shoved passed an approaching Matt.

Caroline felt her shoulders shudder as she tried not to make a sound. Her wrist felt numb and on fire at the same time, and she knew tears were escaping down her cheeks. She didn't know what had hurt more: her wrist, or Tyler leaving without a second glance.

..

Bonnie Bennett quickly threw her car into park, and hustled through the Emergency Room's doors. As she entered the lobby, her eyes immediately found a distressed Caroline hugging her left wrist to her body, and a pissed off Matt rubbing slow circles onto her back.

"What happened?" Bonnie quickly took the seat on the other side of Caroline.

"I just had an accident at the bar. It's nothing." Caroline winced as she rubbed her wrist, and Matt's brow furrowed.

"Yeah, if you can call Tyler Lockwood an _accident_."

"Tyler did this to-"

Bonnie's question was interrupted by the nurse calling Caroline back to see the doctor.

"Bonnie, you go ahead with Care. I'll just wait here. Elena said she was on her way."

Bonnie nodded as she followed quickly behind Caroline. Soon, they were led into a sterile hospital room and told to wait for the doctor.

"What happened tonight, Caroline?"

"Nothing. I just bumped my wrist-"

"The truth. Please." Bonnie pleaded with her friend.

"Tyler grabbed my wrist, and me tugging away combined with him abruptly letting go caused me to hit it against the edge of the bar."

"Why did he grab your wrist?"

"He thought I was checking out Damon Salvatore." Caroline noticed as Bonnie slightly shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I promise I wasn't, Bon! He's definitely _not_ my type. I—I mean, not saying he's not a nice type, I just-"

"Caroline, I get it. Tyler felt threatened when he thought you were looking at another man, but that doesn't justify him putting his hands on you."

Caroline just shook her head in agreement. She knew she would hear the same statement from Elena. In fact, Elena's weigh-in on the matter would be much worse. She hadn't liked Tyler to begin with. She had only put up with him because she thought Caroline was in love with him. But now, Caroline Forbes really wasn't sure what love was.

Until the door swung open.

With Tyler, Caroline thought it was love at first sight, but in reality, she was starting to realize maybe it had been lust or a simple case of infatuation.

As she drank in the blond haired and hazel eyed man in front of her, Caroline no longer felt like she needed air to breathe.

He was her air.

"I'm Klaus—I mean, I'm Dr. Mikaelson."

And she was his.

..

"I'm still trying to figure out how you go to the Emergency Room because your ex-boyfriend decided to be an overprotective asshole, and then end up planning a date with your hot, British doctor before he even puts a sling around your neck. Caroline Beula Forbes, show me your ways."

" _Beula_?" Bonnie raised her eyebrow as Caroline leaned over the couch to smack Elena in the back of the head.

Bonnie laughed as Elena blindly swatted Caroline away.

"I was wondering the same thing, Elena. As soon as Klaus walked into the room, Caroline had this look on her face that almost made me vomit. It got even worse when I realized Klaus had the same exact look on his, too."

"Oh, so she looked the same way that Ma-"

"So, Bonnie, how are you and Matt?" Caroline leaned over the edge of the sofa and smiled softly as she interrupted Elena.

Bonnie sighed. "He told you, didn't he?"

"What are you talking about, Bon? I'm just asking how my two friends are."

"Matt told you I blew up on him?"

"No."

"You blew up on Matt?"

Caroline and Elena spoke at the same time. Bonnie just shook her head as she raised her book up and began reading again.

Caroline skipped around to the seat beside Bonnie and plopped down. She plucked the book from Bonnie's hands and quickly tucked it under her right thigh.

"Caroline! I was reading that if you couldn't tell."

"Not anymore, Bennett! Tell us what's going on with you and Matt."

"Yeah! I feel so out of the loop." Elena added.

"Well, maybe if you came up for air and took a thirty minute break from Stefan Salvatore, we could claim you as our friend again and tell you things." Caroline laughed as Elena launched a sofa pillow at her head.

The girls calmed down as Bonnie sighed and rearranged herself to tuck her legs under body.

"Nothing is going on with us. He's doing his thing, and I'm doing mine. It's as simple as that."

Caroline looked disappointed as she realized Bonnie wasn't going to elaborate.

"Okay, Bonnie. Just...talk to him. Okay?"

Bonnie nodded her head mechanically. Everyone expected for her to be there for them, but where were they when she needed them there for her?

..

Damon Salvatore didn't blink as he stared up at the ceiling. Yesterday had made a week since he had seen Bonnie Bennett, and he wasn't about to go without seeing her one more day. If she wasn't going to come to him, he was going to go to her.

Without another thought, Damon hopped out of his bed and raced down the stairs. Once in the kitchen, he roughly opened up the fridge door; hoping that the trajectory of the door would do his work for him.

As he stared down at the glass jar of jam that refused to move, he realized he had to take matters into his own hands.

Damon grabbed the jar from its place in the door of the refrigerator. With no warning to himself, he quickly raised the jar, and threw it at the tiled floor. The crashing sound of glass was like music to Damon's ears.

"Damon? What the Hell was that?" Stefan's frantic voice echoed throughout the house.

"Nothing, Stefan! The jam just fell out of the fucking fridge! Almost landed on me. Don't worry. I'll go pick up some more." Damon smirked as he left the mess on the floor for Stefan to clean up. He grabbed his keys, and quickly made his way toward the door.

..

Bonnie sighed as she picked up a toy that had toppled over on the shelf. That tended to happen a lot; especially this close to the holidays. She was tired, and just wanted to go home and get into bed.

"Excuse me?"

Bonnie's intake of breath was slightly jagged as she heard the voice that had taken her to her truest high, but had also driven her low.

"Could you direct me to the jam?" Bonnie watched as that delicious smirk made its presence known, and Damon swaggered over to her.

"What are you doing here, Damon?"

Damon tried to hide the absolute contentment he had felt as soon as his name caressed Bonnie's lips.

"Well, I need jam, and this _is_ a store."

Bonnie was in awe as the smirk on Damon's face seemed to almost morph into a smile. She couldn't help herself as she somberly smiled back.

"Well, the jam is on the other side of the store. About three aisles up from the deli." Bonnie turned back to her work of organizing the toys on the shelf. She still felt the pull of Damon Salvatore's body beside of hers.

"I thought it was company policy to walk the distressed customer to their intended destination?" He was so close, she could feel his body heat; smell his aftershave.

She inconspicuously took a few steps back.

"Follow me."

As she walked to the condiment aisle, she started to feel guilty, and a bit self-conscious. She had pegged Damon as a man who walked behind a woman to check her out while she wasn't paying attention. But Damon had walked side-by-side with Bonnie the entire time. She couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong with her. Did he not find her attractive anymore?

"There it is. Thank you, Bonnie."

Bonnie just smiled and nodded, then started to walk away; not paying any mind to the way Damon's icy blue eyes burned as he took in the sight of her perfectly round ass.


	8. Chapter Eight

"Are you out of your mind, Damon?"

Damon smugly grinned as he leaned against the counter, and watched as his younger brother scrubbed at the grouted tile. The jam was long gone, but Stefan Salvatore was a Clean Freak who hadn't allowed himself to exit the closet just yet.

"You missed a spot, brother."

Stefan unconsciously scrubbed harder, but abruptly stopped. He knew Damon was just trying to annoy him.

"Oh, fuck you."

Damon laughed as he noticed Stefan try to sneakily scrub at the nonexistent spot as he took a seat at the table.

"Seriously? You're going to scrub off the tile, Mr. Clean." Stefan rolled his eyes as he finally stopped scrubbing the spot, and stood up.

"Like I was saying, are you out of your mind? You can't just pop up at someone's job, Damon. In fact, you probably shouldn't ever pop up at the job of someone who's knocked the Hell out of you recently."

"She didn't knock the Hell out of me, Stefan." Damon grinned. "Believe me. I'd know if it were gone."

Stefan doesn't fail to notice the split-second that Damon's grin faltered, and he changed the subject quickly.

"I believe Elena told me that Bonnie works the evening shift at _Josette's_ tomorrow, and that she usually eats her lunch alone."

"Are you suggesting that I show up at someone's job unannounced, Stefan?"

Stefan removed his cleaning gloves and threw them toward the trash can. They hit the lid with a thud, and then landed in the bag.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Stefan started to head toward the stairs that led to their rooms. "I was just recommending a nice diner for you to eat dinner at tomorrow."

"Well, thanks for the recommendation, brother."

..

Bonnie Bennett didn't know if her eyes were open or closed. She had never experienced a darkness like this before. It was a dry, cold darkness that wrapped itself around her body, and made her want to scream and to stay silent at the same time.

Slowly, Bonnie slightly wiggled her toes. She felt them hit against a wooden barrier. Bonnie became aware of the cold wood beneath the palms of her hands as she slowly tried to slide them away from her sides. Her pinky fingers hit the sides of whatever was confining her, and she now knew she was surrounded on all sides. Her breath began to come out too fast for her to catch.

Bonnie lifted her hands up so that her palms were now facing upward, and began to trace around her surroundings.

She swore she felt her heart stop, then start to thump in her ears louder than it had been thumping before.

The shape of what was containing her felt familiar. The diagonal edges on each side of her head led into long, straight edges that outlined the rest of her body.

It was then that Bonnie realized…she had been buried alive.

"Bonnie! Hey! It's okay. I'm here. I'm here."

Bonnie felt a warm moistness on her cheeks as she scrambled around in her bed. She felt secure arms around her. Not even registering whose they were, she immediately ducked her face into the chest of her savior, and let the tears continue to fall.

"That's right. Let it out. You're safe now. You'll always be safe with me, Bonnie. I promise."

As Bonnie felt a familiar hand rubbing circles on her back, the voice seemed to register spontaneously. She kept her face hidden in his shirt as she spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Matt. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Matt firmly grasped onto Bonnie's shoulders and gently pulled her up so that she had no choice but to look at him.

Her face showed remnants of tears, bags from sleepless nights were prominent under her eyes, and her hair was disheveled from sleep.

Matt couldn't have found her more beautiful.

"No, Bonnie. I shouldn't have been so insensitive. I guess sometimes it's hard for me to actually realize Kelly's _here_. Even if she is the way she is…she's here, and I suppose that's all that matters."

Bonnie nodded her head as she broke eye contact with Matt. She was now beginning to feel self-conscious in her baggy sweat pants and old high school t-shirt. The fact that somewhere throughout Bonnie's apology, Matt had taken her hands into his, didn't help at all.

She quickly let go of his hands and scrubbed her own palms against her face.

"So, Matt, not to be rude or anything, but what are doing here? More specifically here…in my room?"

Bonnie tried not to notice that Matt started to look embarrassed.

"I was worried about you, Bon. You haven't returned any of my phone calls or texts. Hell, even after we left the hospital that night, I emailed you. I thought, well, I guess I thought you were mad at me." Matt rubbed the side of his neck bashfully. "I couldn't keep not knowing if you were or not. So, this morning I decided to drop by. Elena let me in, and I came upstairs and knocked on your door, but there wasn't an answer. Then, I heard you sniffling. . .so, I—I came in. I know I shouldn't have but…yeah."

Bonnie let her hand rest on Matt's.

"Matt." His blue eyes flicked up to hers. "You did the right thing. Thank you for being here for me."

"I will always be here for you, Bonnie."

Matt knew this was the time. All these months, he had forced his feelings for Bonnie into the back of his mind, but as he felt her body heat pulling him in, and looked into her eyes, he felt like he was seeing himself. He felt like Bonnie understood everything there was to understand about him; like she understood even the things he couldn't.

He leaned in slowly at first, and Bonnie didn't flinch away. In fact, Matt swore she inclined her head toward his own.

"I need to go brush my teeth. Morning breath and all that." Without warning, Bonnie quickly got up and headed toward her bathroom. "I'll meet you downstairs in twenty minutes, Matt. Okay?"

Matt furrowed his brow as he slowly shook his head in the affirmative and got up. He tried not to risk a glance at Bonnie as he walked through the door, and closed it behind him.

Bonnie looked into the mirror as the sound of her bedroom door closing signified absolute silence. She immediately wondered why she hadn't made the move and just kissed Matt. Yes, her morning breath was one of the reasons, but she knew there was more.

She knew there was Damon Salvatore.

Damon currently occupied every facet of Bonnie's mind, and as she pictured him right before she was about to kiss Matt, she wasn't sure if she wanted him to stop occupying it.

..

"Are you sure she inclined toward you, mate, or did your want for her make you imagine things?"

"Klaus!" Caroline swatted at Niklaus Mikaelson as he sipped on his chamomile tea while seated at the kitchen table. He had just arrived after working a night shift at the hospital. He had taken to spending any time he had away from the hospital with Caroline. No one wanted to admit it, but they were becoming very serious at a very fast rate.

"What, love? I'm just suggesting that maybe the power of his desire for Bonnie merely influenced what he _wanted_ to see."

"I'm not crazy, Klaus. She moved her head toward mine, but she stopped at the last minute. I just really wish I knew what was going through her mind."

Caroline grimaced as she looked at Matt leaning against the counter.

"Believe me, Matt. You really don't."

"What's that supposed to mean, Care?"

Klaus abruptly scooped up his mug and rose from the table.

"Well, I'm a bit fatigued. I'll be heading to bed now. Don't take too long, Caroline." He kissed her cheek as he quickly made his way out of the room. He didn't want to be present for this conversation.

"What was that about?"

"Matt, maybe you should sit…"

"No. I'll stand. What is it, Caroline?"

Caroline felt her face drop with sadness. Matt deserved to be happy, and she didn't want to be the one that had to take that happiness away from him.

"Not a what, Matt. A who."

"A who? Is Bonnie—Is Bonnie seeing someone?"

"Not…totally?"

"Caroline, who is it?"

"His name's Damon Salvatore…"

Matt decided to take a seat, and Caroline continued on.

..

"So, a very hot man just walked in, and I currently smell like French fries and hamburger meat."

Jo leaned up against the kitchen door. Bonnie laughed at her, and glanced out of the kitchen's partition. She noticed Alaric sitting down at a booth, and across from him sat Damon Salvatore. She couldn't find it in her to be surprised that she recognized Damon just from the back of his head.

She felt Jo push up against her to look out of the partition, also.

"Isn't he just dreamy?" Bonnie raised an eyebrow as Jo sighed.

"Have you really never met Alaric Saltzman? He's the owner of _Ric's_ , that bar downtown."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not much of a socialite. I usually run the diner, then go home."

"Oh." Bonnie reached into her apron and pulled out her notepad. "Well, I can introduce you if you'd like. He's a pretty cool guy."

"What? No. No, I'm fine. I'll just be back here; cooking stuff."

Bonnie laughed softly.

"Right, Jo. Well, I'll be right back." Bonnie began to walk through the kitchen door.

"Hey, Bonnie! After you take their orders, make sure you take your lunch. I'm not running a sweat shop around here."

Bonnie nodded as she made her way over to Damon and Alaric's table.

"Oh, Bonnie, I didn't know you worked here. How's it going?"

Bonnie resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Alaric's horrible acting. She was pretty sure either herself or Caroline had told Alaric where she worked at some time or another.

"It's going good, Ric."

"Hello, Bonnie."

Bonnie kept her eyes trained onto her writing pad. She didn't dare to look down at Damon. From the sound of his voice, she knew he was smirking, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss that delicious smirk off of his face as always.

"Hey, Damon. So, what can I get you guys?"

"I'll just take a hamburger and fries." Alaric answered quickly, but Bonnie was met with silence from Damon.

"What's good here?" Bonnie struggled not to roll her eyes as she shifted her look to Damon's menu.

"Well, as you can see, we're a diner. On the front and back of the menu, our burgers and fries are highlighted as our most delicious meals."

Bonnie watched as Damon smirked even harder.

"Your most delicious meals, huh? Obviously, no one here has had a proper taste of you yet."

Bonnie's cheeks went hot as she heard Alaric clear his throat. She quickly leaned into Damon.

"Can you just order, Damon?"

"What do you usually get, Bonnie?"

Bonnie gave Damon a long side glance as she said nothing.

"The quicker you tell me, the quicker I can order, eat, and get out of your beautiful hair."

"The quesadilla burger."

"And what do you usually drink with it?"

"A fruit punch." Bonnie immediately felt like a child for saying she usually got juice instead of soda, but Damon ignored her small frown.

"Okay." Damon dramatically folded his menu. "I am ready to order."

"Finally." Ric grumbled.

"I'll have two orders of the quesadilla burger and fries, a coke, and a fruit punch." Damon waited until Bonnie had written everything down without paying much attention. "Oh, and if you could throw in a little Bonnie Bennett, that'd be nice, too."

Bonnie immediately stopped writing, then looked at what she had written. Her eyebrows shot up.

"Damon—" Bonnie started, but Alaric interrupted her by standing up. He gently took the notepad that Bonnie was lightly holding from her hands.

"I'm just going to run this over to the kitchen, and probably eat my food somewhere else…" Alaric met Bonnie's fiery glare as he headed toward the counter separating the kitchen from the dining area. "Somewhere far away from here. Nice seeing you, Bonnie!"

Bonnie immediately felt Damon's eyes on her.

"So, are you going to sit, or eat standing up? I can stand, too." Damon started to rise from the booth as Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"No. I'll sit."

Damon hated to admit it, but as he lay eyes on Bonnie as she sat down across from him, even in her plain white shirt and waitressing apron, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever set his eyes on. He swore that his heart had started to beat rapidly as soon as she had greeted him and Ric.

"I'm pretty sure you won't deck me at your job, so I just wanted to apologize again."

"Damon—" Bonnie sucked her teeth as Damon cut her off.

"No. Just listen to me. You are unlike any woman I have ever met…and yes, I said _woman_. I was a complete dumb ass when I disappeared like that. I guess…I guess I was afraid. Here I am, this guy approaching his peak of adulthood, and the one person I possess an unfathomable bond with for the first time ever in my life is someone that is a decade younger than me."

"So, what about that makes you afraid?"

"I'm not really sure if I'm ready for something like this."

Bonnie sighed.

"Something like what, Damon? Something other than just sex?

"I mean, sex is a part of it, of course." A short-lived smirk graced Damon's features. "But I want more than that from you, Bonnie. You—You make me better. I want you. All of you. Just let me prove it."

As Bonnie stared into Damon's pleading eyes, she saw a spark in them that didn't get to see the light of the world much. She had no idea how deep it ran, but for some reason, she couldn't look past it. She didn't want to rely on the thought that maybe the spark was all for her, but at the moment, everything within her hoped that it was.

She felt herself holding back a smile.

"How are you going to prove it?"

Damon didn't bother to hold back his smile as he leaned toward Bonnie.

"Well, Bonnie Bennett, all I can tell you to do is to buckle up, and enjoy _La Vida de Damon_."


	9. Chapter Nine

**I am so surprised at how popular this story is becoming. Wow! Thank you all so much! I've been through a lot lately, so this chapter took a lot to come out. This is a darker chapter because I had to write something that I felt like my current being could identify with and successfully bleed out into words. So, here it is.**

* * *

Damon looked down at the display on his car radio. It was almost time for Stefan to get home.

Damon had made it an unwritten rule to be up and out of bed before Stefan on the youngest brother's birthday. He made sure that by the time Stefan had gotten out of bed and gone down to the kitchen, a birthday present was laying against, or sitting on, the kitchen counter.

But today was different.

Unlike Stefan's past two birthdays, Damon was now twenty, and was able to get a good paying job at _Johnny's Hardware_. A good paying job meant long hours. Damon had just worked a twelve hour shift from four in the morning to four in the afternoon. Having risen at three in the morning, Damon had let Stefan's present drift into the back of his mind.

Now, as he raced home to place the gift on the kitchen counter, Damon ignored all sense of traffic laws.

Damon swore he had only looked down at the time on his radio for a few seconds, but as he looked back up, he reflexively held his arms up in front of him to absorb the impact of the side of the car he was now heading for head-on.

The sound of metal crunching and glass shattering was a sound that Damon would never forget. It was almost as terrifying of a memory as the sound of the wood beams breaking and cracking as the fire licked over them.

Damon's body immediately warmed as he inhaled the beautiful, white crystals. They were beginning to be his saving grace, and he couldn't help but love that fact.

It had been a week now since he had gotten Bonnie back; a week since he felt like he had found himself again. But it had also been two weeks since his nightmares had started back again. Damon had come to expect them. He knew once today was over, his conscience would give him a break.

At least for a little while.

Life had a funny way of alternating between the two things that haunted Damon the most. Most nights he would wake up in a cold sweat; terrified of the feel of flames just a few inches away from the palms of his hands, and other nights he would startle awake; his arms braced in front of him for an impact he had long ago endured.

The sound of a knock echoed throughout Damon's room. He quickly opened his drawer and raked the remnants of his salvation safely away from prying eyes. He then scrubbed his face with his own hands to make sure any evidence was long gone.

"Come in."

"So, Alaric won't shut up about how beautiful Bonnie's boss is, and Niklaus won't stop drooling over Caroline, which is causing Elena and Bonnie to sigh and giggle every five minutes. Please don't make me sit through this Thanksgiving dinner alone."

Damon smirked as he stood up.

"And here I thought you were the Mastermind behind this shindig, brother."

"Mastermind or not, when I sneak out into the woods to eat a quiet dinner with the forest animals, don't say anything."

Damon laughed as he and Stefan made their way out of his room.

"I'll try not to."

..

Bonnie smiled as she felt Damon squeeze her hand as it rested on his right thigh.

"So, Damon, I take it you had no part in the preparation of this dinner?" Caroline smirked as Stefan let out a loud laugh.

"Actually, Blondie, I mashed the potatoes."

Alaric made a face as he used his fork to shift around his mashed potatoes.

"Well, that explains why my mashed potatoes are just…potatoes."

As Jo laughed beside of Alaric, Bonnie watched as Alaric casually wrapped his arm around her shoulders and looked at her as though she was the last woman on earth. Calming down, Jo unconsciously let her eyes come to a rest on Alaric's face. She giggled as she quickly looked away again.

Bonnie started to wonder if that was how she looked at Damon. So warm, so carefree. Did she look at him like life hadn't chewed her up and spat her out just yet, or could others still see the way her eyes never actually shined as brightly as she wanted them to?

"You invited Matt, right?" Elena looked at Caroline as she shoveled a forkful of turkey into her mouth.

Bonnie couldn't control the stutter of her heart as she heard Matt Donovan's name come out of Elena's mouth.

Today was the twenty-sixth of November, and although Bonnie didn't think anyone else knew, it was the day of Matt's accident all those years ago.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Caroline turned her attention to Stefan. "Matt said he was busy with unpacking, but to tell you guys thanks for the invite."

"Care, you should've tried to talk him into coming. I bet he's spending Thanksgiving all alone." Elena looked disapprovingly at Caroline.

"Okay, Queen Elena. I'll call him in a little bit and see if he changed his mind." Caroline rolled her eyes at her friend. "I'm sure he's fine, though! He's probably all settled, and watching some football game."

..

Matt stared at the blank screen of his flat screen. He knew there was a game on, but he just didn't have the energy to turn on the television. At this point in his day, the only thing Matt seemed to have the energy for was lifting the Vodka bottle he was cradling up to his mouth.

He knew he shouldn't be drinking, but he couldn't find it in him to care.

November twenty-sixth was the most unforgettable day of his life. There wasn't a day that went by that he could simply wake up, and not hear the shrill sound of his mother's scream as the sound of glass shattering and metal collapsing attempted to drown her out.

Matt hadn't even seen him coming. Or her. Police had assured him that it was the other driver who had ran the stop sign, but Matt just wasn't sure. With the other driver speeding off like nothing had happened, he had no one to blame but himself.

These days, he didn't want to blame anyone _but_ himself.

Matt Donovan felt as though he was suffocating, and every time his nose inched above the water, something pulled him back. He was alone, hopeless, and afraid. He just wanted to get away from it all; to stop pretending to live every single day with a smile on his face.

A tickle began to make its way down Matt's cheek. He brought up a finger, and softly swiped at the moistness that just kept falling.

He brought the Vodka bottle up and took a swig. It wasn't until the echoes of sobs invaded the room that Matt realized that they were coming from him.

..

Damon breathed out heavily as he felt the cool air replace the warmth of Bonnie's contracting pussy on his dick. He could never get enough of her. It was like the deeper he went into her, the more he felt like she was the only woman he would ever need; the only woman he would ever want.

"My shirt's right beside of the bed. You can throw it on if you want." Damon leaned over and kissed Bonnie deeply before getting out of his bed and heading over to his bedroom dresser. He pulled out a pair of dark grey pajama bottoms and threw them on as Bonnie tossed his shirt on over her slender shoulders.

Bonnie laughed as Damon flopped back down onto his bed and patted the spot beside of him.

Instead of letting Bonnie get in on her own, Damon wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. He let his head lull over onto her shoulder as he just stared at her.

"What?" Bonnie felt herself resisting the need to fidget under Damon's gaze.

"I can't look at you? Because I like looking at you."

As Bonnie's cheeks turned a light red, Damon realized just how much of an understatement his statement really was. He loved looking at Bonnie. He doubted she noticed all the perfect things about her the way that he did: the way her eyes often changed between three shades of green, the shimmer her skin had after he had given her every single inch of his dick, the way her whole face lit up when she smiled…

He noticed it all. In fact, it was all he noticed. It made him feel something he had never felt before.

"I don't see why. I'm just a normal looking person."

"Bonnie Bennett, you are far from normal. You are extraordinarily beautiful." Damon lifted his hand up to brush Bonnie's fallen hair from out of her eyes.

Bonnie brought her own hand up, and used it to cup Damon's hand to her cheek.

"Thank you. I guess sometimes, I don't feel like it."

"Why not?"

"Damon, you could practically bag a week's worth of groceries with the bags under my eyes."

"Well, yes, you could. Probably a week's worth of groceries for a five person family." Bonnie raised her eyebrows as Damon stroked her cheek. "But I've also noticed the bags receding a little bit when you spend the night here."

"I get my best sleep here." Bonnie didn't let her response filter through her brain before speaking. She immediately felt her eyes go wide, but relaxed when she saw Damon's lazy smile.

"I get my best sleep when you're here too, Bonnie. Speaking of sleep, I'm thinking we should get some. I have a feeling my meddling brother and your energetic best friend will be up at the ass crack of dawn flipping pancakes and squeezing oranges."

Damon's heart warmed immediately at the sound of Bonnie's giggle.

"Good night, Damon."

Instead of responding, Damon moved his arms around Bonnie's waist and pulled her closer to him. He felt her immediately relax, and her soft snores soon followed.

..

Damon felt his eyes pop open. He was met with darkness, and an empty space beside of him.

"Damon? Are you alright?

He could hear the soft pattering of bare feet on the tiled floor in his bathroom, and then saw Bonnie's silhouette as she walked back to bed.

Damon immediately felt himself relax as Bonnie got back comfortable in his arms. He swallowed thickly as he looked up at the dark ceiling.

"I'm fine."

"Damon…" Bonnie's stern voice trailed off as she pressed her head against Damon's bare chest. "I can practically hear your heart thumping out of your chest."

Damon let out a shaky breath.

"I've just been having some bad dreams is all."

"About what? You can talk to me about anything."

Damon contemplated Bonnie's words. Bonnie had opened up to him about the loss of her mother, but he never bothered to delve any deeper to the loss of his and Stefan's. He just never felt the need to.

But it was like tonight something was screaming at Damon to just tell Bonnie everything. Something was screaming at him to just let her in.

"It was about my parents."

Damon felt Bonnie hold her breath, then evenly let it out.

"Oh?" She asked.

"My parents died in a house fire when I was seventeen. Stefan was only fifteen at the time and got out before everyone else, but I know his nightmares are just as bad as mine are sometimes."

"He got out before everyone else?"

"Our house was old, and the only window that would budge was in Stefan's room. We all headed for there, but Mom and Dad detoured to grab some important things from their room. They thought they had enough time…we all did."

Bonnie heard Damon's voice start to tremble slightly, and she tightened her grip around him.

"Once Stefan and I had made it down the hall to his room, a beam fell in the hallway and blocked the way to the rest of the house. It had also wedged itself in front of my parents' room. They couldn't get out. Stefan and I tried moving it, and so did my parents, but it was like nothing on this earth could make it budge.

"Black smoke was everywhere, and even though it was daylight outside, it was becoming as dark as night in the house. While trying to move the beam, I saw my mom stumble. She was losing oxygen fast. By this point, we all were. I remember my dad's raspy, tired voice telling me to get Stefan and get the Hell out; that he and my mom would be okay.

"I helped Stefan out of his bedroom window and immediately went back to my parents. I remember my eyes had begun to burn and it was getting so hot in the house. I could see them hugging each other on the other side of the beam, and although my mom's face was sheened with sweat, I saw the tears pouring down her face…my mother knew she and my father were dying."

Damon let his tears run freely down his face as he closed his eyes.

"As my mom and dad looked at me, their eyes said everything I needed to know. They wanted me to get out; to try my best to finish raising myself and raise Stefan the way that they knew I could. Right after I yelled that I loved them, I heard a loud cracking in the ceiling. I quickly covered my face and ran into the direction of Stefan's room, and as I crawled out of the window, another loud crash echoed through the air, and the flames seemed to occupy every part of the house as I hurriedly threw myself to the ground. As the firefighters rushed over to me and escorted me over to where Stefan was, every bone in my body told me what I knew already…"

Damon trailed off as he felt Bonnie wipe a rogue tear from his cheek. Her touch calmed him. He took a deep breath.

"My parents were dead, and it was all my fault."


	10. Chapter Ten

**Author's Note : Not as intense as usual. This chapter is mostly setting things up. Sorry for the delay. Lately, I don't know whether I've needed a hug, or a couple shots of vodka.**

* * *

"When's the last time you cleaned up in here?"

"Caroline, what do you want? It's seven in the morning, and you're cutting into my jogging time."

Matt looked on as Caroline sat down on his leather couch and made a face.

"Well, excuse me for attempting to invite you to something knowing damn well you won't come anyway! I'm just trying to be a good friend."

Matt sighed as he sat on the edge of the couch.

"Alright, Care. What would you like to invite me to?"

"Bonnie's—"

"I'm good. Thanks."

"Matt! Please come! It would mean so much to Bonnie."

"Sit there and watch her drool over Damon Salvatore? No thanks, Care. Like I said, I'm late for my jog." Matt stood up, and Caroline mirrored his actions. "So, if you'll excuse me, I have to cut this visit short."

As Matt went to open the door, Caroline grabbed onto his forearm as her expression became angry.

"When are you going to tell her?"

"Tell who—"

"When are you going to tell Bonnie that you're fucking in love with her?"

Matt paused.

"I mean, you _are_ in love with her, right?" Caroline let go of Matt's forearm as she waited for him to make eye contact with her. When he did, she had to stop herself from gasping.

Matt Donovan's baby blue eyes were filled to the brim with unshed tears, and in them was a deep sadness Caroline couldn't even begin to grasp.

"Matt…" Caroline moved to touch his hand, but he flinched away.

"Care, do you have any idea what it's like to look into someone's eyes and realize you are not the reason for their happiness? To realize that when her eyes light up, and her smile widens...that you aren't the cause of it?"

Caroline was silent as Matt walked back over to his couch and sat down. He raked his hands over his face before he spoke.

"I've been in love with Bonnie Bennett since the moment I saw her."

"Then why not tell her that, Matt?" Caroline's voice was soft as she took a seat beside of her friend.

"It's too late, Care. She's all _Team Salvatore_ now."

"Okay, Matt, I'm going to need you to never say that again. You're coming to dinner tonight. Let me handle the rest." Caroline hopped up and started to make her way toward the door.

"Wait, what?"

"See you at seven!"

As the door closed behind Caroline, Matt let the silence envelope him.

..

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, Dear Bonnie! Happy Birthday to you!"

Bonnie Bennett let the laughs escape as Elena Gilbert and Caroline Forbes tightly held her hands and sang off-key. She couldn't help but look across the table at Damon as he smirked in her direction.

This morning, Bonnie had woken up determined not to acknowledge her nineteenth birthday at all, but her roommates seemed to have other ideas. Reservations booked at Bonnie's favorite restaurant in the town over, and a hotel suite reserved for her and the girls, Bonnie was quickly dolled up and whisked away.

"Thanks, you guys!" Bonnie's voice trembled, and she hoped no one else noticed. As voices babbled around her, she knew they hadn't.

Until she met Matt's eyes at the far right end of the table.

Bonnie knew Matt was the only one that understood she'd rather be anywhere else in the world but here.

All Bonnie could think of was the fact that today was her mother's birthday. A birthday that Abby Bennett never got to see.

"Everyone! If I could get your attention, please."

Matt's eyes quickly snapped away from Bonnie's and took in the view of Klaus lightly tapping his fork against his champagne flute while smiling.

"As you all know, it hasn't been that long at all since I first laid eyes on my dear Caroline, but it seems like I have loved her forever…"

Matt felt his eyes go wide as Klaus trailed off, and quickly got up out of his seat while pulling something out of his pocket. He felt his breath turn shallow as he saw Klaus get down on one knee beside of a surprised Caroline. This really couldn't be happening, could it? Matt saw tonight as the night he finally could tell Bonnie how he felt, the night where everything he had dreamed of would fall into place.

But now as Klaus and Caroline stole the show, he knew that wouldn't be happening.

"But you see, forever isn't long enough. No time we could ever endure would be long enough to show you just how much I love you, Caroline, but I'd rather spend that time…" Klaus looked into Caroline's eyes as he slowly flipped open the small, suede box, and finished his sentence. "Calling you my wife. Caroline Beula Forbes. Will you marry me?"

Matt watched a teary-eyed Caroline fervently shake her head in the affirmative, then immediately throw her arms around Klaus as they both stood to their feet. It sounded as though the whole restaurant clapped as she and Klaus released each other and settled back down into their seats. Klaus delicately slipped the thin, feminine engagement ring onto Caroline's fair-skinned finger.

As things began to quiet down again, and everyone was absorbed in their own conversations, Caroline finally made eye contact with Matt. To his own disbelief, she muttered a silent "I'm sorry."

Matt angrily shifted his eyes from Caroline, and as he let them linger on Bonnie for a second more than necessary, he was sorry, too.

..

"Oh, God. Bonnie, you have no idea how bad I've wanted to be inside of you. It's all I've fucking thought about as soon as I caught a glimpse of you."

Bonnie gasped as Damon entered her. She finally felt full; finally felt complete.

"It seems like you get tighter every time I fuck you. I love it."

Damon let his hand drift down to Bonnie's warmth. He started to run quick circles around her clit with his index finger.

"That feels so good, Damon. Don't stop! Please, don't stop."

Bonnie immediately felt Damon's soft lips over her own, and his tongue felt perfect as it connected with hers. He grunted softly into her mouth as he pushed himself deeper. He could never get enough of Bonnie's wetness on his hard dick.

As Bonnie felt her pussy begin to contract around Damon's dick, she couldn't stop the yell of curse words that left her lips. She was in pure ecstasy, and as Damon's grunts became louder and more aggressive right before he pulled out of her delicious heat, she couldn't stop the drooping of her lids as her head immediately found Damon's pillow.

..

A glowing orange behind Bonnie's eyelids told her it was morning. Although she already knew Damon wasn't beside of her in bed, she couldn't stop the slight loneliness she felt as she rolled over and found his spot empty.

"Did you get them?"

Bonnie heard Damon's muffled voice coming from behind the bathroom door. He paused as the person on the other end of the phone responded.

"Carnations? I didn't send fucking carnations. When the fuck do I send carnations? I have sent roses every year for the past eight years. Why the fuck would I send carnations all of a sudden, Lor?"

Bonnie's ears perked up as she heard the pleading tone in Damon's voice. Who was Lor? Could it be short for Lauren?

"Okay, well I'm going email that shitty florist company and have them send roses this time. Let me know when you get them."

The sudden silence told Bonnie that Damon had obviously ended his conversation with Lauren. It wasn't long before the bathroom opened, and Damon stepped out. He looked surprised that Bonnie was awake.

"Good morning, beautiful. How'd you sleep?"

In the past five years, Bonnie Bennett had become one of the world's best actresses. As she slightly stretched and yawned, Damon seemed to relax at her lack of knowledge.

"I slept well. How about you?"

"You know when you're here, my sleep is perfect."

Bonnie smiled lightly.

"I know."

..

"Are you sure he said _Lor_ , and not _Thor_?"

As Elena asked her question, Bonnie watched as she made a disgusted face at the array of tiny cupcakes in front of her and Caroline. Only engaged a week ago, Caroline had already began to drag her friends _hors d'oeuvre_ tasting with her.

"Okay, Elena, why would Damon have a friend named Thor?"

"Because it's a common name, Care."

Bonnie made a face as Caroline rolled her eyes. She knew she had heard the name Lor.

"Anyway," Caroline took a bite of a coconut cupcake and grimaced, "I'm actually reading this book where one of the main characters, who _is_ a male, is named Lor. I mean, he's like a millennia old, though, but the name could still be in circulation."

Caroline's reassuring smile slowly disappeared as Elena stared her down.

"Guys, it's fine. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun here. Lauren might not even exist."

"Or she could, and you need to leave Damon immediately."

"Elena, if it were King Stefan could you easily leave him? No." Caroline scoffed as she bit into a vanilla cupcake.

"If Stefan was cheating on me—"

"Elena! We don't know if Damon's cheating!"

"We don't know that he's not either."

Caroline sighed as Bonnie took a bite of her cupcake sample. She was ready to be back at home in her bed, surrounded by her own thoughts.


	11. Chapter Eleven

"Bon, that was _months_ ago, and you're still fucking nagging about it?"

Damon loudly let the dinner plate he was holding drop onto the counter. He quickly turned around to face Bonnie.

"Oh is that what I'm doing? Nagging? I don't _have_ to be here, Damon."

"Where are you going to go, then?"

It had been six months since Bonnie's best friend, Caroline Forbes, had gotten engaged to her fiancé, Niklaus Mikaelson. Two months ago, in their stereotypically brazen fashion, Klaus and Caroline had decided to move in together before the ink on their wedding invitations had a chance to dry.

Bonnie Bennett and Elena Gilbert were left hanging high and dry, and were on the search for a third roommate. It soon became clear that no one could replace Caroline.

After two more weeks of searching for a replacement, Stefan had finally asked Elena to move in with him, and Damon hastily followed by asking Bonnie to join them.

For Stefan and Elena, things were going great, but for Damon and Bonnie, each day came with more problems.

"I'm going to my Grams'."

Damon's eyes grew a dark blue color as Bonnie began to march up the stairs to their shared room. She went over to the old dresser and began to take out her clothes.

"Bonnie, stop being childish."

Bonnie paused. It seemed like in every argument they had, she was the one that was being childish.

"I am not a child, Damon." She gritted her teeth as she stared up at Damon.

"Did I say you were a child? I said you are being childish. Which means you are exhibiting child—"

"I know what the hell being childish means! Let me just get my stuff and take my childish ass elsewhere, okay?"

Bonnie began to reach toward the bottom drawer of the dresser, and Damon quickly grabbed her arm.

"I'll bring you the rest of your things. If you're leaving, leave."

"No. I'm getting all my things now." She furiously pulled her arm out of Damon's grasp and reached for the dresser again.

As she pulled the dresser out, Damon continued to pull away at her arm.

"I told you I'll fucking bring it to you!"

"Damon, stop! You're hurting me!"

In a blur of motion, Bonnie lost her balance, and the drawer came toppling out onto the ground beside of her.

Damon felt the air empty from his lungs as Bonnie's eyes slowly drifted to the half-empty Ziploc bag haphazardly laying on the hard wood floor. He could see her eyes begin to moisten as her voice trembled.

"Damon…"

Bonnie's eyes were casted down as Damon moved to help her up. She quickly jerked away from his touch.

"Don't."

She quickly gathered her thoughts as she got up, and grabbed the rest of her things.

"Bonnie, please. Let me help. I can explain—"

"You can explain what, Damon? Last time I checked, I don't think there's a logical explanation as to why someone can knowingly do…that." Bonnie felt the tears run down her cheeks as she looked toward the Ziploc bag still laying on the floor.

"It—It helps me. It calms me down, makes me feel like there aren't any walls closing in on me anymore. But I swear to you, Bon, I haven't done any since you've moved in. I'm clean."

"If you're clean, then why haven't you thrown it out?"

"I can't."

"Why the hell not, Damon? If you're clean like you say, it shouldn't bother you one bit if I picked up that bag, and dumped it in some landfill somewhere, now would it?"

Damon's face betrayed him as Bonnie moved toward the bag still on the floor. She paused.

"But it bothers you all too much, doesn't it? The thought of that bag disappearing makes your skin itch. It makes you want to rake apart your soul just because you're about to lose something you think you can't live without."

"Stop it, Bonnie."

"Without the feeling you get from being high, you feel like you're alone. You feel like you have no one even if a million people are staring you in your face."

"Bonnie—"

"Without that feeling, you feel like you're nothing. You feel—"

"Don't tell me how I feel! You don't know shit about me!"

Bonnie flinched away from Damon's voice, and immediately hugged her belongings tighter to her body. Without another word, she turned her back on Damon, and tried to ignore the calling of her name as she made her way out of the house.

..

"Bonnie?"

Bonnie tucked her head further into the pillow of her bed as her grandmother, Sheila Bennett, stood in the doorway of her old room. Sheila Bennett was the only reminder Bonnie had of her mother. Identical in looks, it almost hurt Bonnie to have to look at her, and realize that her mother was no longer around.

She would never be around again.

"Child, if you don't answer me…you are this close to experiencing Hell in a handbasket."

Bonnie didn't say a word as she lay still in her warm bed. She welcomed the silence that followed, but before she could exhale a breath she was holding, cool air immediately hit against her body.

The thud of her comforter on the floor made her sigh as she snuggled her head deeper into her pillow.

"Yes, Grams?" She mumbled.

"You have a visitor, Bonnie."

"Tell them I'm not in the mood to talk."

Bonnie heard her grandmother sigh as she started to walk out of the room. The sound of her footsteps abruptly stopped.

"You know what? That beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed angel down the hall has literally come by here every Friday evening for over a month! I'm pretty sure he doesn't keep coming by because he enjoys the drive, or just wants to play retro card games with a lonely, old woman. He's here for _you_ , Bonnie. Keep playing around, and I'm afraid he won't be here forever." Sheila cheerfully knocked on the side of the door frame before starting to walk away. "If you need me, I'll be playing _Uno_ with Mattie."

..

Matt let out a breath as he stood on Sheila Bennett's porch for the fourth Friday in a row. He knew Alaric was going to kill him for missing another Friday night down at _Ric's_ , but he just couldn't find it in him to care. Being here for Bonnie was more important than some security job in some dead-end town.

He tried not to imagine how much different his life would be if he had never been behind the wheel that day. If he hadn't begged and begged his mom to let him get his license before his senior year, they never would've been at that intersection that day.

If things were different, Kelly Donovan would've still been a mother. She would've encouraged her son to accept his football scholarship to LSU, and he would have. He would not have had to stay at home to take care of his younger sister, and look after his addict mom. He would've went to wild fraternity parties in his dorm, and been recruited by the NFL in his sophomore year of college before he was barely twenty. There was no doubt about that. Matt was destined to be a star.

But now, at twenty-four years old, Matt Donovan drove an hour and a half every Friday night just to come visit the woman who had captured his every waking thought. He had spent his most recent Friday nights playing some ancient card game with Bonnie's grandmother; not allowing himself to be angry when Bonnie never came down the hall.

If things were different, though, Bonnie Bennett probably wouldn't even exist in his world, and he couldn't live with the thought of that.

Matt knocked just once as his grip on the flowers tightened. After his first visit, he had learned that Sheila Bennett loved sunflowers. She loved how they smelled and how they made her feel, and as she described the flower, Matt knew Sheila had seen right through his façade. She knew that he was in love with Bonnie, and there was no other way to put it. Matt now brought a bouquet of flowers with him each visit as a form of comradeship.

"Mattie! How was the drive over?" Sheila Bennett greeted Matt before the front door was completely open. She had a soft spot for the handsome blonde.

"It was relaxing as usual, Ms.—"

"Oh, hush up with that 'Ms. Bennett' shit. How many times do I have to tell you that it's Sheila? Now come in, come in. Add those flowers into the vase with the others, and I'll be right back."

Matt nodded as Sheila hurried down the hall toward Bonnie's room. He knew nothing would come of it, but it warmed his heart to see that Sheila still tried for him.

He slowly walked into the Bennett's living room and placed the flowers gently into the dark red vase sitting in the middle of the table. Beside it sat a picture of Bonnie no older than ten, and in it, she and her mother were both laughing while mixing batter together in a bowl in the kitchen. Matt immediately realized he had never seen Bonnie laugh like that.

He really wanted to.

After a few minutes, Sheila reappeared from down the hall and said nothing as she walked toward the kitchen and started to prepare a plate of lasagna for Matt. She remained silent until both he and her had sat down at the old dining room table and began eating while quietly playing Uno.

"You know, the only reason she won't come out here is because she's sitting around waiting for that Salvatore boy. I'm not even sure why. He seems like a level ten dick."

As Matt choked on his lasagna, he berated himself for letting Sheila Bennett catch him off-guard. By now, he should've been used to the older woman's word choices.

"Well, yeah. I guess he is."

"And that overly-tanned brunette and hyper-active Barbie, they've come to see Bonnie what? Maybe twice? But you…" Sheila trailed off and Matt saw her eyes soften. She quickly looked down. "Since Abby died I just—"

Matt felt moisture build up in his eyes as he heard Sheila's voice become thick.

"—I just don't know if Bonnie is coming or going, and even with her being the way that she is, you keep coming back and coming back…I'm just so afraid that one day you'll decide she isn't worth all the trouble anymore, and then she'll end up deciding she isn't worth the trouble either…" Sheila used a napkin to dab at her eyes as her emotions finally betrayed her. "I don't want to lose my granddaughter, Matt. She's all that I have left."

"Sheila." Matt let his hand rest on top of the hand Sheila had let lay on the table. He didn't speak until she looked into his eyes.

"Bonnie will always be worth it. As long as I'm living, there's not a person in this world who could love her more than I do. She is my life now."

Sheila flipped her hand over so that she could now grip Matt's.

"You're a good boy, Matt Donovan." She sniffed one last time, then seemed to cleanse her face of any sadness that was previously present. Looking up at Matt, she smiled. "Now, I believe I was kicking your ass in _Uno_?"


	12. Chapter Twelve

"Uh, hello. As you all know by now, I'm Damon, and I'm addicted to crack cocaine. I also drink a little bourbon before noon most days, and I'm starting realize that's frowned upon, too. And well, I'm here to talk about my feelings and shit like that."

"Damon."

Damon's eyes quickly snapped up to the mentor at the front of the room.

"Sorry, Jules."

Julian sighed as he ran a hand through his dark blonde hair.

"All right, Damon. Tell the group what made you decide to come here today."

"Same old, same old." Damon smirked, and as the room remained silent, he cleared his throat. "Well, two months ago, I started to live in a repeating— You know what? I feel like telling the truth today. As it turns out, my Hell started over a decade ago." The words had rushed from Damon's mouth, and he barely registered them as his own.

"Go on, Damon. We're all here for you." Damon tried to ignore how enthusiastic Julian sounded as the mentor realized Damon was actually going to say more than an introduction today.

"My parents died in a house fire when I was seventeen. Everyone is always telling me that it's not my fault and I couldn't have done anything to save them, but in reality, if I hadn't been trying to sneak and light a joint in the house, I wouldn't have caused the fire that day. My brother wouldn't have been the emo, orphan kid at school, and I probably wouldn't have found happiness in a bag." Damon stared at the wall behind Julian as tears ran down his cheeks.

"If I hadn't started that fire twelve years ago, I'd be handing my mom flowers on her birthday, not sending flowers to her grave site. I would be taking my dad out to car auctions and shows, not getting some excruciating lump in my throat every time I see his favorite car in a magazine.

"If my parents weren't dead, I wouldn't have made that horrible mistake eight years ago. I wouldn't find myself sending flowers to my mother's grave every year on that date in hopes that maybe she'll take it as a peace offering and forgive me for my horrible fuck ups. I only looked down for one second…" Damon trailed off as he used the palms of his hands to violently wipe at his betraying eyes. "No other families would be suffering because of me, and I wouldn't feel like my own brother hates me. I'd let myself live how I'm supposed to. I'd let myself love _her_. I'd be someone that was worthy of her love.

"Unlike the days I've been here before, today the reason I'm here is because I want to better myself. I want to make things right…I want to be worth it."

..

"Bonnie, you look so good laid out for me. Tell me how much you want me."

Bonnie felt warm as she looked up at the man holding himself up above her.

"Tell me how much you want to feel me inside of you, Bon."

Her breath caught in her throat as she felt him rub himself against her center.

"I want you." Bonnie let out a breath as he pushed inside of her. He had entered her just at the right angle.

"You want who? Say my name." He pulled his hard dick out of her, rubbed the head of it between her wet folds, and slid back in again without warning. Bonnie immediately felt his soft lips against her throat as he whispered, "Say it, Bonnie."

He pushed himself as far as he could go, and Bonnie let out a gasp.

"I want you, Matt. I want all of you."

"That's what I like to hear." Matt quickened his thrusts and Bonnie felt like she was about to explode as he used his thumb to rub circles on her clit.

"You like that, Bonnie?" His voice seemed to be fading, and as Bonnie didn't answer, Matt repeated himself. "Bonnie?"

"Bonnie, wake up!"

Bonnie's eyes popped open as the knocking on the door became louder.

"I'm up, Grams! Come in."

The door opened and Sheila Bennett poked her head in.

"You have a visitor, Bonnie."

Neither Caroline nor Elena had contacted Bonnie about them visiting, so she had no idea who it could be; _besides him_.

Matt Donovan made Bonnie feel something she hadn't felt since her mom died. She felt passion…

She felt alive.

With Damon Salvatore, Bonnie wanted to rip off his clothes, but with Matt, Bonnie wanted to rip apart his mind. She had never met someone that was such an open book, but still a complete mystery. She wanted to know what little sounds annoyed him, what he really did in his free time, if he had had any dreams after high school…

She wanted to know the part of Matt that had slipped away with time. She wanted to see him laugh and smile in a way that made him reminiscent to the sixteen year old boy he was before the accident.

She wanted to tell him about the night they had first met; the night he had saved her life.

But she was afraid. She was afraid that Matt would leave her, and she'd be alone just like she had been for the past five years.

"Grams, if Matt—"

"Oh, child, no. There's a Stefan Salvatore out in the living room, and he says he has something important to tell you. He's no Mattie, but I will say he holds a strong flame to him. Piercing green eyes, medium brown hair, and a voice like a sunrise…"

Sheila trailed off as she dramatically fanned herself.

"Stefan Salvatore?" Bonnie asked as her heart began to beat a little faster. Her thoughts immediately went to Damon's well-being.

"Yes. Do you know him, or have I let some rapscallion into my home? I'll get the bat—"

Bonnie quickly flipped her covers off of her body and hopped up from the bed.

"Grams, stop! It's fine. Okay? Let me get dressed, and I'll be right out."

Sheila nodded her head, and left Bonnie alone.

..

"Look, I'm sorry I lied, Bonnie. I just didn't know how else to get you to talk to me. I mean, technically, it was important."

Bonnie took a long sip of her caramel macchiato as Stefan nervously folded his arms on the table and leaned into them.

"It's like you're telling me that just because I played the lottery, I will possibly win. That's not important. Important information would be you telling me that I _did_ win. Just because Damon's in treatment doesn't mean he's going to benefit from the treatment, Stefan."

"The treatment is definitely benefiting him, Bonnie."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Twelve years ago, when the fire that consumed my parents finally died out, so did the light in my brother's eyes. We both knew they hadn't made it out of that house, Bonnie, but I guess for Damon holding onto that little pinch of hope was enough to keep him together. As soon as the firefighters came out shaking their heads, it was like the only thing standing beside of me was the empty shell of the person that used to be my brother."

As Stefan tried to ignore the tears threatening to spill over, he looked toward the window and smiled as the sun caught his eye.

"But now, it's like he's finally back. It's like he isn't hollow anymore, and I don't have to be afraid that he'll shatter at any moment. He's even started working on cars again."

"That's great, Stefan. I'm so happy for him."

Stefan smiled as he turned his attention back to Bonnie. "Me too. The only thing he's missing is you."

Bonnie felt like the air was knocked out of her lungs as she felt her eyebrows rise on her countenance.

"I—I can't…I just—Well—"

"You…don't want to be with Damon anymore, do you?"

"I do. It's just…" Bonnie trailed off as she broke eye contact with Stefan, "It's just we're two very different people, Stefan. I don't—I can't see myself with him anymore. Maybe a year from now, Hell, maybe even ten years from now, things may change. But for right now, we aren't who the other needs."

"I can't fault you for that, Bonnie, and neither can Damon. I think deep down, he understands that, too. But don't worry. As soon as the time comes, he'll be waiting."

…

Matt hastily slapped a _Draw 4_ card down onto the table as Sheila stared him down.

"Well played, young grasshopper. I see someone has been working on their _Uno_ skills." Sheila Bennett winked as she picked four cards from the deck and smiled at Matt, "But don't bask in this 'I think I'm winning' idea for too long, Donovan. Sheila's coming back with the next play to kick that ass!"

"What ass are you kicking, Grams?"

Matt tried not to let his eyes widen as he saw Bonnie walking toward him and Sheila. He hadn't seen her in eighty-three days. He had missed her laugh, her smile…Hell, he had even missed the way she blinked.

As Bonnie smiled at her grandmother, Matt felt like he was lighter. He felt like just for one, little second, everything was right in the world, and when she finally turned her smile toward him, he knew for a fact that his darkness had been dissipated; even for just a moment.

"Mattie's. He tried to get me with a _Draw 4_ card."

Bonnie drew in her mouth a little as she sat down beside of Sheila.

"Big mistake, Matt. She never loses a game. Right, Grams?"

Sheila looked distracted as she nodded her head in the affirmative.

"Oh, yes. Right, Bonnie." Sheila awkwardly shuffled her cards, and they ended up jumping out of her hands and onto the table; face up. "Shit. Would you look at that? My hand's spoiled now. Guess I lose."

Bonnie couldn't help but roll her eyes as Matt's face lit up with innocence.

"But I didn't see any of your car—"

"Oh, nonsense! I know you looked. I'm so mad now that I can't even focus enough to cook dinner." Sheila rose from the table and began to walk into the living room. "You know, that sushi place down the street is really delicious. I'd love a spicy tuna crunch roll tonight during my vampire shows."

..

Bonnie watched in silence as Matt smoothly pulled the sushi rolls out of the brown paper bag. Sheila Bennett has excused herself to her room a few minutes after Matt and Bonnie had arrived with her food, and now Bonnie sat with her legs folded under her on the comfortable couch in the living room while Matt sat awkwardly beside of her.

"So, how's Kelly?" Bonnie broke the silence as Matt handed her the crunchy roll.

"Having a good, old time living with Pete. I'm sure it's like a twenty-four hour candy store for her now."

Matt's voice was hard, but Bonnie could hear the worry in it. She could feel his pain, and wanted nothing more than to take it away.

"I just see her sometimes, and I wonder why couldn't it have been me? Why couldn't I have been the one with a low tolerance to the pain medication? Honestly, if it would've stopped this fucked up situation from happening, why couldn't I have just acted fast, and died protecting my mom? She wouldn't have sustained any bad injuries that led to intense pain killers, and I would've—"

"You would've died, Matt."

"Would that have really been such a bad thing, Bonnie?"

"Are you really asking that? Are really asking whether or not leaving your mother and sister to bury you is a bad thing? How could you possibly be that selfish?"

Bonnie was hysterical, but she couldn't stop saying the words that were pouring from her lips.

"You have no idea how much you dying would affect your loved ones' lives, but you just don't care do you? You'd leave your mom, your sister, me…" Bonnie trailed off as Matt's eyes flicked up to meet hers. "…If it meant being the hero?"

"Yes." Matt didn't even blink.

"But, Matt, you are a hero! Don't you realize the impact you have? The lives you helped? Vicky's engaged and as far away from her small town life as possible, your mom knows you love her and want to help her even if she won't admit it, and I—" Bonnie broke herself off.

"You what?"

"And…I'm alive because of you. You saved my life, Matt."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Bonnie Bennett closed her eyes and let the sound of the rain on the windshield take her away from her reality. She was barely two weeks into her new life with new people in a different place, and she just wasn't sure she could do it.

Five years ago, when Abby Bennett had died of a heart attack after years of fighting a declining battle, Bonnie's entire being changed. She went from wanting to be a highly sought after defense attorney to someone who didn't bother imagining their future because they knew they wouldn't have one.

While all the girls got together on a Saturday morning to go dress shopping for senior prom with their mothers, Bonnie Bennett had avoided going to school on the following Monday in hopes that she wouldn't have to hear their gleeful conversations about their shopping trip.

But on Tuesday, she still heard every word.

And while all her high school classmates walked across the stage to receive their diplomas, Bonnie Bennett had curled up in her bed and cried until she couldn't cry any longer. She couldn't go through walking in her graduation without her mother in the audience to shout her name far too loudly for the small auditorium, so she'd chosen to have her diploma quietly mailed to her so that her Grams could make a copy of it and frame it.

As the rain hit the windshield harder, Bonnie started to think about how her mother would never know Caroline or Elena…how much Abby would've despised Elena's bourgeois approach to life and Caroline's optimistic outlook on everything made Bonnie giggle.

But as Bonnie Bennett giggled, she couldn't stop the trembling of her body as her giggles turned to sobs.

Abby Bennett wouldn't be there to help Bonnie pick out a wedding dress, she wouldn't be there to hold her first grandchild…she wouldn't be there for anything, and Bonnie couldn't bear the thought of that.

She glanced at her purse in her passenger seat as she felt the tears running down her face. Multiple pain killers and sleep aids seemed to be smiling back at her. She had had enough of pretending to live; pretending to be happy. She couldn't just go home tonight and wake up in the morning yet again. Tonight would be her last night having to worry about tomorrow, because if all went well, tomorrow would never—

A loud knock on the window made Bonnie jump and she quickly wiped her face with her hands. She rolled the window down as the hooded figure didn't seem like they were going to leave anytime soon.

"Are you all right?" A warm, masculine voice sounded loud in Bonnie's ears as the rain poured down around them.

"Yeah. I'm just on lunch."

"What?" The man leaned forward to hear Bonnie better.

"I'm just on lunch!" Bonnie yelled out of the window, but the stranger still shrugged. She watched as he jogged around to the other side of the car, and opened the passenger side door. Bonnie's finger quickly found the trigger of her pepper spray.

"Wait! I won't hurt you!" The man climbed into the car beside of Bonnie and sat in the passenger seat; tossing Bonnie's bag into the backseat in the process. He quickly removed his hood and clicked on the light above them.

Bonnie couldn't stop the feeling that creeped into her body as she let her finger slowly move off of the pepper spray's trigger. She felt something foreign to her. When she looked at him, she felt a type of familiarity. She felt like she was safe and nothing could drag her down ever again. She felt like she was curled up on a comfortable couch in front of a fire; watching the embers disappear into the air as she sipped on hot chocolate.

Looking at him, she felt like she was home.

"Usually people who say that are the ones who are lying." She nervously spoke as the man laughed a little.

"Well, I'm not your usual person. I tend to mean what I say, and say what I mean. I'm Matt Donovan by the way."

The now-named stranger held out his hand, and Bonnie quickly took it in hers.

"Bonnie Bennett."

"Bonnie…"

Matt's voice brought Bonnie back to the present as he trailed off.

"Bonnie, that night—The bag I threw into the backseat…"

"It was filled with pills, Matt. After I finished out my shift, I threw them in the dumpster out back and went home. I couldn't do it after—I just couldn't do it."

Bonnie couldn't find the words to tell Matt that their unconventional meeting that night had given her something she had thought she would never have again:

 _Hope_.

Matt had tears in his eyes as he took Bonnie's hand in his, not caring if it made her uncomfortable or not. He needed to feel her; to know she was real.

"Why, Bon? Were you really going to leave your Grams and friends behind?"

"Yes. Everything was so new and different. I could be in a room surrounded by people and feel so alone. I still do."

"Well, do you feel alone now?" Matt's eyes were cast downward as he asked the one question that seemed to slice through the air.

"No. Matt, that night you saved me. Something about you gave me hope. It was almost like something finally told my brain and heart that I wasn't at the end of my life. I was only at the beginning."

Bonnie refused to look at Matt as he looked up into her eyes.

"Hey, Bonnie. Look at me." Matt put his hand softly under Bonnie's chin.

"For the longest time, I felt like I was wasting my life. I passed up a full-ride football scholarship that most likely would've led to me being in the NFL, I didn't leave home because I had a mom and sister to take care of…I basically grew roots and stayed in one spot.

"But, Bonnie, when I met you, I realized that I'm not a tree. I can do anything, go anywhere. But then, I also realized something else."

"What did you realize?" Bonnie felt her heart pounding in her chest.

"I realized that instead of wanting to go anywhere, I wanted to go wherever _you_ were. My life without Bonnie Bennett wouldn't be my life at all. I guess what I'm really trying to say is, Bonnie, I've been in love with you since the moment I laid my eyes on you."

..

"How's Vicki doing, Matt? Heard she's about to leave."

As Josette Laughlin set Matt Donovan's burger plate in front of him, Matt watched as the caramel skinned beauty with the green eyes took another customer's order to the kitchen to place it, then grabbed her coat and exited the diner. Since he had walked in, his eyes had never left the young woman. He had no idea why she made him feel a certain way.

No one had ever made him feel this way.

"Yeah…she's leaving once the summer is over. Is it bad I'm afraid Daniel's going to propose to her soon?"

Jo smirked as she crossed her arms.

"Over-protective brother on the prowl? I have one question for you, Matt. Does Daniel make her happy?"

"Yes. I haven't seen Vicki this happy in a long time."

"Well, there's your answer right there. Everyone deserves to be happy."

Jo smiled at Matt as she turned to make her way back into the kitchen, and Matt began to eat his dinner before his shift at _Ric's_ started.

If only Jo knew how Matt really felt. To him, happiness was the ground below him, but his life was the noose around his neck that kept him from touching it.

After Matt was done with his meal, he couldn't keep himself from peering out of the diner's window at the old Pontiac being enveloped by the pouring rain. He could faintly make out the waitress' silhouette as he tried to control his staring. He noticed her shoulders trembled a bit. Something inside of his heart told him that she was crying, and for some reason, he knew it was far more than a small, meaningless cry. In that moment, he knew he had to get to her. He never wanted to see her cry again; unless she was crying from happiness.

Leaving more than enough money to cover his bill and a tip, he quickly bundled himself up into his rain jacket and made his way over to the stranger's car. His body seemed to act on its' own as his fist made contact with the driver's side window in a soft knocking motion. As he saw the woman jump a little, he felt bad as he asked if she was okay; until he heard her voice.

Well, barely heard it. Her voice was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.

Without a second thought, Matt jogged around the passenger's side of the car and hopped in. He quickly thwarted off the stranger's defensive reaction.

"…I'm Matt Donovan by the way." He held out his hand, and as the woman let her own embrace it, he had to stop himself from breathing out a sigh of contentment.

"Bonnie Bennett."

The woman of his dreams now had a name.

..

Damon stood in the too-green field as the wind blew around him. An eerie whistling filled his ears as he eyed the leaf-filled path he had to step on to get to where he was supposed to go. He hadn't walked this path in years. He had planned on never walking it again, instead just sending flowers here and there as a way to express how much he missed them.

But today was the day of the wedding he wasn't invited to; the day Bonnie got to walk down the aisle in her beautiful bridesmaids' dress, linked at the arm with Matt Donovan.

It was also the first of November; a month Damon was sure was created to haunt him…to taunt him.

As those thoughts ran through his mind, Damon tried not to notice his feet as they led him down the dark grey path. He also tried not to remember a few months back when he realized Bonnie had moved on.

There was no bright look in her eyes as he showed up on her grandmother's porch with an armful of roses, and a small little medal awarding him for his time being sober. He will never forget seeing Matt Donovan emerge from the house with a solemn look on his face as he wrapped his arm around Bonnie's waist. The way Matt had looked at her told Damon everything he needed to know.

Bonnie was no longer his, and he could not be mad over that fact.

All Damon Salvatore's life, he had done nothing but fuck up, and he knew once he accepted that fact, everything else would fall into place.

He abruptly stopped in front of two lively looking graves. He looked around to make sure that no one else was in the vicinity of him, and slowly eased his way down onto the grass so that he was now sitting cross-legged in front of them.

"Mom…Dad…Sorry I haven't visited you guys in, well, ever. But I see that Lorenzo has you guys' graves pretty pimped out." Damon smiled as he imagined his mom huffing at his comment, while his dad whole-heartedly shook his head in agreement.

The thought of this made his smile drop.

"I guess I haven't visited you guys because I didn't want to come to terms with the fact that neither of you are here anymore. I wanted to just think that you were gone on a long trip, but the more I sit and wait by the door for you to come back, the more it hurts because I'm starting to realize how fucking untrue that is!" Damon could hear his voice cracking as the tears ran down his cheeks. "Mom, the fact that I'll never hear your laugh again…it hurts. And Dad, I'd do anything to hear you yell at me for doing something stupid. It hurts so much that sometimes I can't possibly imagine that this is the truth. Over a decade later, and I can't get over the fact that this is my life. Why me?

"First I kill you guys in a fucking fire, then I cause another guy's only parent to develop some sick ass drug addiction…If the fire never happened, I would never have been racing home for Stefan's birthday so he wouldn't be alone…I would never have hit Matt Donovan and ran away like a coward. Taking my own parents from me couldn't be enough. I just had to take someone else's too."

Damon raked his hands over his face as his shoulders trembled from his sobs. He quickly started to pat the inside of his jacket pocket to make sure what he needed was still there.

"Mom…Dad…I'm so sorry. I know you two wanted the best for me, but the fact of the matter is, I'm just getting what I deserve." He quietly stood up reached into pocket and pulled out the object. Placing it against his temple, he closed his eyes. "And honestly…I don't deserve to live."


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Last chapter before the epilogue! Thank you all for sticking with me and this story. My life has just been so...I can't even describe it. Let's just say it's been hard to feel like getting out of bed for a long while now.**

* * *

"Damon?"

Damon's eyes snapped open as he heard the familiar voice behind him.

That voice had been the voice of his dreams and nightmares. It had sent him to Hell, but had also brought him back. He wasn't sure if him hearing it at this moment meant he was in Heaven or Hell, but he knew for sure that whichever place he was, knowing she was there, even in spirit, gave him the hope he needed to endure whatever would be thrown at him.

"Bonnie…" Her name trailed from his lips, and it was then that he realized he hadn't even pulled the trigger. His mouth opened slightly, but fell short on the words he couldn't find it in him to say.

"Damon, I'm coming toward you. Don't move." Damon felt Bonnie's body heat invade his space, and he tightly closed his eyes again. As he felt the gun being removed from his hand, and eased down onto the grass beside of him, Damon felt the fresh, hot tears begin their descent down his face. Without thinking, he quickly reached out for Bonnie, and felt her arms squeeze around him tightly as he realized she was now on her knees right in front of him. He buried his face deep into the crook of her neck, and felt his body almost shake from the sobs he tried his best to silence.

Bonnie felt her own tears slide down her cheeks as she stared up at the sky; trying to ignore the man falling apart in her arms.

"Is everything all right?" A British accent invaded the bubble around the two ex-lovers as Bonnie felt someone walking toward them. She felt Damon go still in her arms, then quickly reach for the gun and tuck it back on his person.

"Uh, yes. Everything is fine. We just…got caught up in the visit." Damon heard Bonnie's shaky voice answer in the affirmative. For a long moment, he didn't hear a response from the intruder.

"…Damon? Damon Salvatore? Is that you, mate?"

Damon quickly let go of Bonnie and scrubbed at his face to make sure it was now clear. His eyes immediately went wide as he took in the sight of the man before him.

"Lorenzo?" He felt a foreign smile spread across his face as he hurriedly stood up. Bonnie followed his movements, and she turned her back a little to give the two old friends some space.

Lorenzo St. James was born in London, England and had moved to the United States when he was five years old. Damon Salvatore had the pleasure of sharing his Kindergarten table with him since no other kid in class wanted to hang out with the scrawny boy that had the weird voice. The two remained close friends until nine years later when Lorenzo's dad was fatally shot in an altercation, and with no other source of income, his mother moved back to London to live with her sister.

Without another word, Lorenzo tightly hugged his old friend. He had been back in the States managing the maintenance and care of the cemetery, but hadn't see Damon in over five years.

"How've you been? It's been, what, five years?"

"Yeah. I guess it has been." Damon quietly responded. He immediately felt the guilt wash over him as he realized he had been dodging Lorenzo's efforts to see one other. He also seemed to remember how Lorenzo would've been the one to find his lifeless body if Bonnie had been a second too late.

 _Bonnie._

"Oh!" Damon spun around, and as soon as she was in his line of sight, he felt his whole body go calm. He felt like he was on a beach watching the wave pass him; not minutes away from committing suicide. She was here by his side. She was all he needed.

"Lor, this is Bonnie Bennett; the love of my life."

..

"The love of your life, huh?"

Lorenzo popped a marshmallow into his mouth and leaned on the counter that was facing Damon.

"I did—I did say that, didn't I? She's my everything, Lor."

"Did I ever mention how much I hate you calling me Lor? Most people call me Enzo, and have been for a while I might add."

"You know I'm not most people."

Lorenzo shrugged his shoulders, but didn't deny anything. He had to admit Damon Salvatore was a friend to him when no one else had been, and he would never forget that.

"So, where's Lexi?"

Damon suddenly remembered Lor's vivacious, eccentric wife whom he had married last year after dating her for several years beforehand.

"Well, Alexia has decided to pursue more…adventurous endeavors."

"Which means?"

"Apparently running a cemetery and living in a newly renovated house wasn't enough for her. She's now married to a doctor who has several vacation homes littered throughout the Caribbean, Western Europe, and Australia."

Silence filled the kitchen as Lorenzo's face seemed to drop. Damon's voice was clear as he slowly cracked a smile.

"That damned Australia."

Lorenzo couldn't stop the smile that tugged at his lips as he realized his best friend was back.

..

 _The love of my life_.

Damon's words echoed repeatedly in Bonnie's head as she shakily took a sip out of the mug of hot chocolate Lorenzo had offered her.

She felt the buzzing of her phone vibrating in her pocket, but it didn't matter. She could only imagine the frigid look in Caroline's eyes once she faced her friend again. It took everything in her not to imagine the sad look in Matt's eyes as he realized he'd been stood up.

Bonnie had to fight the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. In her heart, she knew she had made the right choice. Caroline didn't matter, and, ignoring the dull tug at her heart, neither did Matt.

She had known it for a while now, and lived to deny it, but the only one who had truly mattered to her was Damon Salvatore. It wasn't until the moment she saw him with tears streaming down his face and a gun to his head that she had decided she couldn't, _wouldn't_ , live without him.

The sound of Lorenzo and Damon entering the room made Bonnie look up at the two men. Lorenzo made his way down the hallway to another part of the house as he mumbled something about some elementary school pictures, while Damon sat down on the couch beside of Bonnie; keeping a reasonable amount of space between them.

"How did you know where to find me?"

Damon kept his eyes straight ahead and Bonnie did the same.

"I—I knew you were hurting, so I put myself in your shoes. I knew this was the last place you'd come. I knew your parents' graves were your saving grace…"

Bonnie trailed off, and she felt Damon's eyes as he started to stare at the side of her face; silently begging for her to look at him. She turned toward him, and those seas of blue were almost enough to drown her. She felt herself taking ragged breaths as she tried to stay above the surface.

"I had no doubt in my mind about where'd you be because…I've thought about it a lot myself."

Damon let his eyes question Bonnie. He needed to know more.

"Damon," Bonnie paused for a second as his name seemed to caress her lips as she practically exhaled it. "You don't think I've ever considered doing what you were about to do today?"

She couldn't possibly mean what he thought. Before he stopped himself, he found himself asking the words that he knew didn't even deserve to be uttered into reality.

"You've considered killing yourself, Bonnie?"

"Yes. Although, I had a different weapon of choice. For a few months, I went to the E.R. complaining about headaches, backaches, joint pain…anything that would've led to me getting more pain pills. Finally, when I had figured I had gathered enough, I started to complain about insomnia so they'd give me sleep aids. It was surprisingly easy to get what I needed, but putting those things to use was what was hard."

Bonnie turned to look straight ahead again, and Damon noticed her closing her eyes.

"When you want to die, dying seems so easy. You have nothing left in you, and the days that you _do_ try to live, those are the days that seem to hurt the most." Damon could see tears fall down Bonnie's cheeks as she opened her eyes. "But then when the time comes to finally end it…to finally set yourself free, it's like everything that matters, and everything that doesn't hurt, hits you all at once. It's like you remember the feel of the sun on the back of your eyelids, or you remember the huge birthday cake your mom got you for your fifth birthday.

"When the end is about to come, you start to think of everything that hasn't happened. The wedding dress you'll never wear, the kids you'll never have…"

Bonnie's shoulders slightly shook from the sobs she was trying to hold back as she paused for a long minute before talking again.

"And then when the end is about to come, you realize that you have to wait for a more natural ending. You realize that you have to be strong and keep living on because you have so much life left to live. So every November, you have to constantly tell yourself that in thirty days…it'll be December."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

_**Author's Note : Well, here it is. The last chapter. My tears will not stop flowing so I'm just going to say I thank everyone who stayed with me until the end. I have had so much happen during the writing of this story that I just couldn't take it in the direction that I had it going, and I hate that. I apologize to you all, and I apologize to myself. I do hope you all have enjoyed it, or at least have enjoyed it up until a certain point. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'll be writing something else soon. Probably one-shots, though. Thank you again!**_

* * *

"I'm just trying to have a good time, man!"

Bonnie Bennett hugged her drink to her chest as she and her two best friends watched a man from across the club try to struggle out of the bouncer's grip.

Caroline Forbes and Elena Gilbert giggled as the bouncer almost let the drunken man fall to the floor. The man had been the bar's number one fan tonight, and had even made a toast out to Bonnie earlier. His "bride-to-be" speech was definitely one she would never forget.

Bonnie's wedding was in less than fifteen hours, and she could barely contain herself. The last five years of her life had not been easy, but with an English degree and a new career that started two weeks after she got back from her honeymoon, nothing had ever felt so right.

In the years that had passed by, Bonnie had finally pursued her dreams. She found herself…she realized that she _could_ be happy. As she watched Elena get married and Caroline have two kids, she knew that life was worth it in the end.

"I really hope he isn't driving a vehicle tonight."

Bonnie turned her head to Elena's voice as Elena casually took a sip of her virgin strawberry Daiquiri. Bonnie and Caroline were starting to wonder just when Elena was going to tell her husband, Stefan Salvatore, that she was five weeks pregnant.

"I'm pretty sure they called a taxi for him." Caroline responded. "So, Bonnie, is Matt coming to the wedding?"

Having no more family in Mystic Falls, Matt Donovan had moved to the west coast a few years ago after his mother had been found dead at her boyfriend's house with a needle still in her arm. That same day, Damon Salvatore had finally told Matt the truth regarding the car accident that had changed his mother forever. To Bonnie's surprise, Matt hugged Damon, and told him that he forgave him, and that it really was _just_ an accident. They were both just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"He is, Caroline. He's actually bringing a plus one." Bonnie warmly smiled at the thought of Matt finding someone to love him the way she couldn't.

"Good! I can't wait to see him." Caroline smiled widely, then took a sip of her drink. "Well, although I think Klaus has everything under control at home, I think maybe we should get going. You need your beauty rest too, Bon."

The women all agreed upon leaving, and quickly got up and began to walk out of the club. Mid-way to Elena's car, Bonnie dropped her clutch, spilling everything out. Oblivious, Caroline and Elena continued the walk to the car.

"Shit." Bonnie mumbled as she stuffed all her possessions back into the clutch.

"Bon! Hurry up!" Elena's playful voice made Bonnie smile as she crouched to pick up her clutch from the ground. She quickly tucked it under her arm and stood up.

"I'm coming. I just spilled—" Bonnie's word were cut off by the appearance of bright headlights causing her shadow to form in front of her.

"Bonnie!" Caroline screamed.

..

"Alright, so you're going to come to a full stop at this next stop sign, Honey."

"Got it, mom."

"You know, you're actually doing so well, Mattie! I hope Vicky is this easy to teach, but you know, I doubt it."

"I doubt it."

Matt and Kelly Donovan laughed as they spoke in unison. Things just didn't come as naturally to Matt's younger sister Vicki as they did to him. Neither him nor his mom could deny that fact.

Matt let out a small sigh as he came to a stop at the four-way intersection. He knew if he continued straight through this sign, he'd be home in about ten minutes. It was a road he had driven on with his mother probably over twenty times now. Matt knew he was going to pass his driver's test next Friday.

Matt noticed there were no cars waiting to go to his left, or in front of him. He glanced out of the window on the passenger side and saw a car approaching the intersection.

Sure that they would slow to a stop, Matt pulled into the intersection—

The sounds around him were hollowed. Was he going through a tunnel? He swore it was night, but he seemed to see a glow that mimicked the setting of a sun after a crisp, fall day. He swore he could feel someone there beside of him.

"Mom?" He asked.

"I'm right here, Matt! I'm right here."

That wasn't Kelly Donovan's voice. Although a fog surrounded it…it was too level to be Kelly's.

A warmth filled Matt's body as he realized just who it was.

"Bonnie."

"Yes, Matt it's me! Please open your eyes for me, Matt."

She sounded sad. Sadder than Matt thought she had ever sounded. Shouldn't she have been happy to see him? He had even lied about having a plus one….A plus one for what?

He tried to open his eyes, but he was just so tired. He had taken a nap on the plane _and_ at the hotel, so why was he so tired?

He remembered driving over to the club Niklaus said the girls were at for Bonnie's bachelorette party. Bachelorette party…No. He wouldn't let her marry Damon. He couldn't.

He saw her. Her hair was longer, and she finally glowed like the goddess she truly was. She looked…happy. He couldn't force himself to ruin that happiness. He had to walk away; no matter how much it hurt him to do so. She didn't need him anymore.

Lights illuminated her figure as she bent down to gather her things she had dropped.

Matt wouldn't let anything keep her from being happy. Not even if it meant sacrificing himself for her.

Bonnie's name exploding from Matt's lips sounded foreign to even himself as he forcefully pushed her out of the way of the oncoming vehicle…

…And now he felt nothing.

Except warm.

Matt Donovan hadn't felt warm in a long time, and knowing that Bonnie Bennett was here watching the sunset with him, he couldn't help but to lean back and close his eyes as he felt the darkness of night starting to cover the earth around him. The ground beneath him started to cool down, so he reached out for Bonnie's hand for more warmth. He saw her smiling up at the disappearing sun. He knew he had to say it. He knew if he didn't say it now, Bonnie would never get to hear it from him again. He wanted her to know how much she meant to him.

"Bonnie…"

Bonnie's smile never faded as she turned to look into his sky blue eyes. He noticed a sparkle in them that he had never noticed before. The next words fell from his lips, and when they did so, every worry, and every sad thing he had ever experienced seemed to disappear. As soon as the words left his lips, he felt…happy.

"I will always love you."

..

"In life, they say we choose our battles. I've always said that that is the farthest thing from the truth. In life, our battles choose us, and we can only ignore them for so long. They hunt us down and envelope us until we're at the point to where we _have_ to fight them to get out. But like many battles, sometimes we're on the losing side."

Bonnie Bennet let her hand rest on top of the onyx and silver casket as her vision blurred with the unfallen tears that her body couldn't find the energy expel anymore.

"Matt Donovan had been on the losing side for a while, but he never stopped fighting. One thing I can say about Matt, is that he was one thing I never could be…he was brave. But he was so many other things."

Bonnie breathed in deeply as she stood beside the casket that seemed to be a part of her worst nightmare.

"He was kind, he was loving…He was Matt."

Bonnie felt the tears start to run down her cheeks as she looked into no direction in particular.

"I remember one day we were sitting around, and he looked at me and said "Bonnie, you're the warmth that I need, and the cold that puts me in my place. You make me feel cozy and familiar. You make me feel like how someone feels when they know the holiday season is coming, and along with it, so are the beautiful Christmas lights, and nice, fulfilling family dinners. You make me feel like the beginning of all of that. You make me feel like _November_.""


End file.
